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softwared (/ˈsɒf(t)ˌwɛəd/) adj. You have drunk enough to run on instructions that can be altered by whoever speaks last. softwarizationed adj. Reduced by drink to solving every practical difficulty with a new app, including coats and last orders. softweared (/ˈsɒf(t)ˌwɛəd/) adj. Softened by drink into walking shoes, sneakers, and a determined but inelegant journey home. Hemisha was softweared by midnight and changed into trainers before attempting the walk home. softwired adj. Sharpened by drink into a transparent tunnel between the last conversation and the nearest point of departure. Murvel was softwired, carrying the same argument intact from the bar to the taxi rank. softwooded adj. Emboldened by drink to take the long way home, with the quiet confidence of a gymnosperm. softworksed adj. Slowed by drink to the pace at which a software company might process one final request. Kery was softworksed by last orders and needed several minutes to accept the need for a taxi. soganaed adj. Still drunk, and communicating in an archaic script which the rest of the party must patiently decipher. sogdianited adj. Drunk enough to become mineralogical, brightly composed, and wholly unsuitable for rapid departure. Kedrick was sogdianited, glittering faintly under the pub lights while everyone else found their coats. sogdollogered adj. Sharpened by drink into a person whose morning-after observations land with a surprisingly conclusive edge. sogered (/ˈsəʊd͡ʒəd/) adj. Drunk past the point of useful labour, leaving the evening's navigation to the rest of the crew. Kytana was sogered by last orders and contributed nothing to the search for her coat. sogged (/sɒɡd/) adj. Drunk to the point where the route home has become soft, marsh-like ground with no firm edge. sogginessed adj. Drunk in a way that makes the coat, the pavement, and the journey home equally absorbent. Moneek was sogginessed, carrying a damp coat through the rain without recalling where it came from. soggy biscuited adj. Loosened by drink into the last participant in a circular breakfast ritual nobody is prepared to describe. Grandin was soggy biscuited at dawn and regarded the breakfast biscuit with immediate suspicion. sogo shoshaed adj. Drunk, with the result that every round, coat, fare, and destination becomes part of one sprawling enterprise. Demi-nicole was sogo shoshaed, financing the final round while negotiating everyone's return journey. sohaied adj. Drunk to a degree that makes a minor difficulty, such as finding a coat, seem monumentally idiotic. Tenneil was sohaied, treating the missing coat as a monumental difficulty while searching beside the sofa. sohan halvaed (/ˈsoːɦən ˈɦəlʋaːd/) adj. Drunk to the extent of becoming brittle, sweet, and liable to set solid wherever last orders leave you.