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spoonpluged adj. The condition of a drinker who has become an attractive target for coffee, water, and discreet recovery attempts. spoonplugginged adj. The drunkenness of one who spends the morning deploying coffee and water as though fishing for consciousness. spoons positioned adj. Reduced by drink to lying beside another person in the same direction, awaiting tea without turning round. spoontrayed adj. Softened by drink into a shallow receptacle for breakfast implements, receipts, and the morning's small failures. Lashanya was spoontrayed by noon, collecting teaspoons, tablets, and unanswered messages around herself. spoonulaed (/ˈspunʊləd/) adj. Drunk by closing time, and convinced every utensil should perform two jobs. Izaiha became spoonulaed and attempted to serve soup with the implement's flat edge. spoonwinged adj. Still drunk, and making a confident but highly inefficient approach to every conversation. spoonwooded adj. Too drunk to distinguish a mountain shrub from an excellent place to lean. Juman became spoonwooded and spent ten minutes complimenting the laurel before falling against it. spoonwormed adj. Sufficiently drunk to burrow through the evening without acknowledging the existence of joints. Shaquesha was spoonwormed, advancing beneath the buffet with admirable biological commitment. spoonworted adj. Sufficiently drunk to prescribe scurvy-grass for problems that are plainly unrelated to scurvy. spoonyismed adj. You have drunk enough to turn a passing fondness into a complete domestic policy. Yeraldi became spoonyismed and offered marriage during an argument about the jukebox. spoored (/spʊəd/) adj. You are drunk and leaving a trail by which the evening may be reconstructed. Cathy, spoored, retraced her own movements by following the scent of spilled cider. spoorered adj. Of a drinker: tracking the night by stains, crumbs and increasingly unreliable clues. sporabolaed adj. Of a drinker who has launched a small object on an elaborate trajectory and forgotten why. sporadesed adj. Describing a drinker who has separated from every sensible constellation and is navigating alone. sporadic E'd adj. A drinker who reflects every remark across the room, often reaching an audience several miles away. sporadic grouped adj. The state of being drunk and belonging to no established category of behaviour.