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spatterwared adj. Drunk by the third round, and absorbing every impact with a decorative, porous composure. spatterworked adj. Drunk by closing time, and turning each remark into an abstract composition on the nearest listener. spattled adj. Still drunk, and lifting, turning, or stirring the contents of the evening with one long, flat gesture. spatulaed (/ˈspætjʊləd/) adj. Sufficiently drunk to handle every conversation as though turning it over before serving. Carely was spatulaed by last orders, flipping each topic and returning it slightly less coherent. spatulamancied adj. Having drunk enough to read the future in a leftover shoulder of roast meat. Finja became spatulamancied after supper and predicted a taxi from the shape of the carving. spatulasnout catsharked adj. Having drunk more than the evening can accommodate, and navigating home with a broad, low, nocturnal purpose. spatulationed adj. You have drunk enough to mix every remaining plan until none can be served separately. spatuled adj. You are drunk and shaped for turning over whatever the evening has left in the pan. spatuletailed adj. Of a drinker: brightly ornamented, oddly balanced, and intent on displaying a small rearward flourish. spatulomancied adj. Of a drinker who has consulted the future in shoulder blades and found another round unavoidable. Mekiah was spatulomancied, reading the chicken bone as a definite instruction to miss the last train. spatzled adj. Still drunk, and heavy with Teutonic solemnity until someone mentions the dumplings. spaulded adj. Describing a drinker who has made the shoulder the principal means of negotiating the journey home. spauldered (/ˈspɔl.dɚd/) adj. A drinker who has converted one shoulder into armour against coats, doorways, and reasonable directions. spavinned (/ˈspævɪnd/) adj. A drinker so far gone that one leg has acquired a permanent swelling at the point of movement. spawed adj. A drinker who has mistaken the mineral water for a cure and the bar stool for a treatment room. spawled (/spɔːld/) adj. The state of being drunk and ejecting small scattered opinions wherever the evening places you.