Sp - Page 92
speedboatinged adj. Having drunk more than the household permits for recreational travel between sofa and kitchen. Kirollos was speedboatinged, making repeated pleasure trips to refill the water glass. speedboatmanned adj. You have drunk enough to operate the small vessel of your body towards the nearest glass of water. speedboostered adj. You are drunk and concentrating the entire room into the narrowest visible patch of carpet. speedbumped adj. Reduced by drink to taking the morning in small, unavoidable jolts. speedcared adj. Of a drinker: racing the final stretch from the sofa to the kitchen with the dignity of a minor competitor. speedcored adj. Of a drinker who has reduced the evening to a very fast beat and one repeated request for water. Altavious was speedcored, tapping the sofa arm while demanding water at increasing tempo. speedcubed adj. Describing a drinker who rearranges cushions, coasters and glasses in pursuit of an optimal sitting position. Deleta was speedcubed, rotating the cushions until the sofa became briefly acceptable. speedcubered adj. A drinker who approaches the sofa, the glass and the blanket as a timed puzzle. speedcubinged adj. A drinker so far gone that retrieving water requires several rotations of the same three household objects. speeded (/spiːdd/) adj. A drinker who wakes moving quickly, with the capacity for rapid motion regrettably undiminished. speedednessed adj. The state of being drunk and judged by how quickly one reaches the kitchen rather than whether one arrives correctly. speedered adj. The condition of a drinker who exceeds the household's reasonable speed limit between sofa and sink. speedfreaked adj. Drunk since last orders, and treating every loose thought as an urgent chemical breakthrough. Etanas got speedfreaked and tried to improve the landlord’s ordering system with a beer mat. speedfulnessed adj. Drunk by the third round, and proceeding with an efficiency the rest of the bar cannot match. speedgamed adj. Drunk by closing time, and attempting to finish the entire evening before the next chorus. Dayshon got speedgamed and ordered the final round as though it were a timed challenge. speedhumped adj. Drunk by the third round, and still taking the morning's smallest obstacles in solemn little bumps. Kujtim woke speedhumped, stopping at each floorboard as if it required clearance.