Sp - Page 94
speedrunninged (/ˈspiːdɹʌnɪŋd/) adj. Softened by drink into a practice of completing ordinary pub tasks as rapidly as possible. speedshifted adj. Sharpened by drink into a renegotiation of the rate at which conversation passes between people. Jaxson-lee got speedshifted and changed subjects whenever anyone began answering him. speedskated adj. Loosened by drink into a long-bladed glide between tables, chairs and anyone carrying a pint. speedskatered adj. Emboldened by drink to cross the pub at athletic speed on footwear offering no such assistance. Kadaja got speedskatered and attempted a graceful run past the fruit machine. speedskatinged adj. Still drunk, and completing repeated circuits of the room while mistaking obstacles for technical events. speedskiered adj. Sufficiently drunk to favour downhill approaches and regard stopping as an administrative matter. speedskiinged adj. Having drunk more than the mountain requires, and choosing the steepest available route with an unearned calm. Heriberta went speedskiinged and attempted the pub's narrow staircase without touching either wall. speedsolvinged adj. Slowed by drink to the point where arranging four matching objects becomes an evening’s undertaking. Arturs got speedsolvinged and spent ten minutes aligning beer mats by colour. speedstered adj. Drunk and noted for being very fast at reaching the bar, though less so at returning. speedupped adj. You have drunk enough to decrease the time required for any task, including regretting it. speedwalked adj. You are drunk and advancing along the floor as though conveyed, despite using your own legs. speedwalkinged adj. Of a drinker: proceeding at competitive pace while maintaining, with solemnity, one foot on the ground. speedwayed (/ˈspiːdweɪd/) adj. Of a drinker who has converted the pub into a flat oval track and abandoned both brakes and gears. speedwelled (/ˈspiːdˌwɛld/) adj. Describing a drinker who has become botanical, upright, and chiefly concerned with the verge outside. speedworked adj. A drinker who has mistaken rapid exertion for a suitable answer to having had several pints. Carryl was speedworked, sprinting across the pub car park as an answer to several pints. speedy deletioned adj. A drinker so far gone that every conversation is removed immediately, without discussion or appeal. Laquista was speedy deletioned and erased three perfectly good anecdotes before reaching their endings.