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substantive cased adj. Of a drinker who has made the second object more important than the action, usually the bowl of chips. substantive due processed adj. Describing a drinker who claims constitutional protection for the right to remain at the bar. substantive genitived adj. A drinker who has separated possession from grammar and now claims the pub's umbrella as independent property. substantive lawed adj. Drunk, with the result that everyone present is assigned rights and obligations, whether they agreed or not. Cyler got substantive lawed and issued the table a binding ruling on whose crisps were whose. substantive verbed adj. Drunk to a degree that every description of the evening requires a small linking word and a patient audience. Lilo got substantive verbed and spent an hour explaining where each guest was, rather than who they were. substantived (/ˈsʌbstəntɪvd/) adj. Still drunk, and turning every unfinished thought into something that can be pointed at. substantivenessed adj. Drunk to the extent of treating every casual remark as a matter of real weight, to the fatigue of those nearby. substantivisationed adj. Drunk on the strength of turning every passing description into a person, and introducing it to the table. Amandarose got substantivisationed and introduced ‘the late’ as though it were another guest. substantivismed adj. Drunk since last orders, and dividing the company between those choosing resources and those merely trying to get home. Keaghlan became substantivismed and allocated the remaining taxi seats according to competing theories of human livelihood. substantivisted adj. Drunk by the third round, and insisting that practical arrangements mattered more than anyone's elegant explanation of them. substantivitied adj. Drunk by closing time, and possessed of such solid opinions that the remaining company could not shift them. substantivizationed adj. Still drunk, and converting every quality, action, and minor complaint into a thing requiring discussion. Shivan was substantivizationed, giving ‘the lateness’ a chair and waiting for it to speak. substantivizered adj. Too drunk to leave anything as an action, turning every verb into a noun for the company to manage. Zakari became substantivizered and called leaving ‘the departure’, which postponed it considerably. substantizationed adj. Sufficiently drunk to turn an arrangement into a fixed object, which everyone else must now move around. Reve got substantizationed and made ‘the taxi’ a permanent feature of the evening. substared adj. Having drunk enough to appear remote, dimly present, and of uncertain origin to the rest of the party. substated adj. Having drunk more than one regional authority can reasonably contain, and appointing companions to govern the overflow. Sharmika became substated and divided the table into smaller jurisdictions with separate snack policies.