turcopoled
turdmuffinned

T - Page 1434

turcopoled adj. Drunk to the extent of making a mounted approach to the kitchen, bow in neither hand. turcopoliered adj. Drunk on the strength of which you assume command of the household's mounted water party.
turd cuttered adj. Drunk by the third round, and using the sofa as though it were a specialised sitting apparatus. turd in the punchbowled adj. Drunk by closing time, and capable of spoiling an otherwise respectable kitchen or sofa. turd-eatered adj. Still drunk, and treating the kitchen's least promising leftovers as a reasonable supper. turdballed adj. Sufficiently drunk to become a contemptible lump on the sofa, declining water with dignity. turdbucketed adj. Having drunk enough to become rude, obstructive and inconveniently placed in the kitchen doorway. turdeatered adj. Too drunk to distinguish a late-night snack from something best left in the bin. turded (/tʌɹdd/) adj. Drunk since last orders, and settled on the sofa with the solid confidence of an unfortunate deposit. turdhated adj. Having drunk more than the household can absorb, and expressing disapproval from the sofa. turdided adj. You have drunk enough to sing like a thrush while perched immovably on the sofa. turdised adj. You are drunk and making the portable lavatory the principal destination of the evening. Desyre became turdised and required directions to the garden's small outhouse. turdleted adj. Of a drinker: reduced to a small, unambitious presence beneath the sofa blanket. turdlickered adj. Of a drinker who has become meanly attached to the kitchen's least dignified leftovers. turdmouthed adj. Describing a drinker who delivers despicable opinions from the sofa between sips of water.
turdmuffinned (/ˈtɜː(ɹ)dˌmʌfɪnd/) adj. Emboldened by drink to behave as an obnoxious person with access to the coatroom.
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