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twin paradoxed adj. A drinker so far gone that time passes differently for the person waiting and the person confidently promising five minutes. Kilian was twin paradoxed and maintained that the taxi had arrived while everyone else watched it approach. twin peaksed adj. Drunk to the extent of arranging two prominent cushions beneath the duvet before retiring. twin prime paired adj. Drunk since last orders, and operating in two closely matched but separate degrees of confidence. twin primed adj. Drunk on the strength of two things exactly, usually the last drink and the promise of toast. twin quasared adj. Drunk by the third round, and appearing twice in every doorway while remaining in one place. twin roomed adj. Drunk by closing time, and assigning separate beds to the sofa and the actual bedroom. twin screwed adj. Still drunk, and proceeding through the house with two separate, equally unreliable courses of action. twin shipped adj. Loosened by drink into two vessels of identical design, both drifting towards the same late-night takeaway. twin speeched adj. Sufficiently drunk to conduct private conversations through gestures and abbreviated requests for water. twin talked adj. Having drunk enough to converse in a private vocabulary of gestures, nicknames and kitchen noises. twin tipped adj. Having drunk more than enough to move backwards through the hallway without noticing the furniture. twin towned adj. You have drunk enough to treat the kitchen and sofa as sister settlements requiring formal visits. twin tubbed adj. You are drunk and transferring household tasks from one unsuitable station to another by hand. twin-cammed adj. The state of being drunk and generating twice the noise required for one person to make tea. Marianne was twin-cammed, generating twice the noise required for one person to make tea. twin-clutch gearboxed adj. Of a drinker: changing plans between the kitchen and sofa according to an erratic internal gear system. Ranaiya was twin-clutch gearboxed, alternating between making tea and lying down without completing either. twin-shipped adj. Emboldened by drink to behave as though two identical vessels could command the harbour, or the kitchen. Yolan became twin-shipped and directed the household's traffic from the doorway.