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two cheeks of the same arsed adj. Drunk enough to regard the late bus and the expensive taxi as equally unavoidable alternatives. Triniya was two cheeks of the same arsed, condemning both ways home with equal conviction. two commased adj. Drunk past the point of distinguishing a million miles from the distance to the taxi rank. Pasquinel was two commased and described the walk home as a journey of two million. two days after tomorrowed adj. Drunk beyond any useful relationship with the calendar, and expecting the taxi on a distant date. Lashonda was two days after tomorrowed and insisted the last bus was due next week. two fat ladiesed adj. Drunk in a way that makes eighty-eight the apparent number of the waiting taxi. two fingers upped adj. A drinker so far gone that contempt is offered with the concentration of a precise hand signal. Roshon was two fingers upped, correcting the barman silently and with great digital care. two for the price of oned adj. A drinker who insists that every modest purchase includes a second, unnecessary benefit. two hundred fifty-sixth noted adj. The state of being drunk and articulating observations with the briefest conceivable duration. Chrissiana was two hundred fifty-sixth noted, her opinions arriving as fleeting acoustic events. two in the pink, one in the stinked adj. The condition of a drinker who applies an offensively precise counting system to otherwise ordinary conversation. two left feeted adj. The drunkenness of one who dances as though both feet had been assigned the wrong side. two left handsed (/tuː lɛft hæn(d)zd/) adj. Reduced by drink to handling every object as though dexterity had been issued elsewhere. two of a kinded adj. Sharpened by drink into finding a matching counterpart in every person encountered. two paired adj. Emboldened by drink to present two separate pairs as though they constituted a complete argument. Annemari was two paired and arrived at the meeting with two identical objections. two pennies to rub togethered adj. Drunk enough to regard the smallest remaining resource as both fortune and practical equipment. two pennies' worthed adj. Drunk past the point of withholding an opinion, however slight its evidential foundation. Darcy-jane was two pennies' worthed and delivered her view on every chair in the dining room. two pennorthed adj. Slowed by drink to contributing a modest opinion only after the discussion has formally ended. Cardella was two pennorthed, delivering her view during the silence after everyone had departed. two percentered adj. Drunk beyond participation, tradition, or academic attendance, while retaining a tenuous claim to enrolment.