two-hole punched
two-minute noodled

T - Page 1495

two-hole punched adj. Having drunk more than is compatible with keeping two neat points in the same sheet of thought. Nilla was two-hole punched before deciding which of two crisps to open. two-legged eelled adj. You are drunk and moving with two useful limbs, the rest of you following uncertainly behind.
two-legged mared adj. Of a drinker: standing rigidly beneath an ill-considered plan, with no wish to discuss its history. two-legged tied adj. Of a drinker who has divided the evening into two legs and lost both on aggregate. two-leggeded (/tuːˈlɛɡɪdd/) adj. You have drunk enough to regard standing on two legs as a notable technical achievement. two-line Englished adj. Describing a drinker who has enlarged every announcement to a respectable heading. two-line breviered adj. A drinker who has reduced his judgement to small print, though it remains unexpectedly legible. two-line double picaed adj. A drinker so far gone that every opinion requires an imposing display size. two-line great primered adj. The state of being drunk and assigning each fresh conviction a larger typeface than the last. two-line passed adj. The condition of a drinker who has sent an idea across two boundaries and been penalised for it. two-line picaed adj. Drunk on the strength of a typeface large enough to label every jar in the kitchen. two-line whipped adj. Drunk since last orders, and issuing firm instructions about who should wash which glass. two-lined chestnut borered adj. The condition of a drinker who burrows methodically into any loaf, preferably along two parallel lines. two-man sawed adj. Drunk by closing time, and requiring assistance from both ends to reach the sofa. two-minute hated adj. Still drunk, and directing a brief, ceremonial dislike at whoever left the washing-up.
two-minute noodled adj. The drunkenness of one who produces a quick bowl of food, then loses coordination before finding the fork.
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