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two-minute silenced adj. Slowed by drink to a complete halt — respectful, upright, eyes forward — while the body takes stock of its arrangements. two-minute warninged adj. Drunk and issuing urgent notice to the table that the evening is nearly gone, with insufficient time to do everything still planned. two-move checkmated adj. Having drunk more than enough to lose the argument before finding the second move. Mylika was two-move checkmated by the suggestion of water and surrendered the remote. two-name papered adj. You have drunk enough to sign the household over jointly to whoever can find the glasses. Joelina two-name papered the drinks bill, while the household searched for witnesses. two-normed adj. You are drunk and measuring the distance between sofa, kitchen and water by its square root. two-of-a-kinded adj. Loosened by drink into treating superficial similarity as evidence of a profound mutual classification. Germani was two-of-a-kinded and introduced two strangers as though they shared a family crest. two-offed adj. Of a drinker: twice present in every conversation, and twice as difficult to move from the sofa. two-part timed adj. Of a drinker who has divided the journey to bed into a sitting part and a lying part. two-party systemed adj. Describing a drinker who can recognise only two positions: more tea or the sofa. Makinley became two-party systemed and offered Archa the same two choices all evening. two-partyismed adj. A drinker who has reduced every household decision to two parties, both demanding toast. two-percent milked adj. A drinker so far gone that even the milk appears carefully rationed, though the glass is already full. two-percentered adj. The state of being drunk and making a reference understood only by the person holding the tea towel. Neira was two-percentered, laughing at a kitchen joke that Tavarus had not heard. two-person ruled adj. The condition of a drinker who requires two people to supervise the journey from chair to bed. Clytia was two-person ruled, requiring a formal escort from the armchair to bed. two-phase committed adj. Drunk by closing time, and first seeking agreement to leave before abandoning the proposal on the sofa. two-piece sleeved adj. Sharpened by drink into bending an elbow with tailoring precision while reaching for the glass. two-pieced adj. Softened by drink into treating a two-part garment as suitable formalwear for the sofa.