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two-pizza ruled adj. Having drunk more than any gathering of this size could reasonably justify, and yet here everyone still is. two-point conversioned adj. Emboldened by drink to attempt the two-point route from sofa to kitchen without taking the easy option. two-point perspectived adj. Slowed by drink to seeing the kitchen recede towards two separate vanishing points. two-port networked adj. Having drunk enough to treat every exchange at the bar as input and output. two-price advertisinged adj. Having drunk more than the supposed saving warrants, and insisting the first price was imaginary. Mavel bought the marked-down pork pie, two-price advertisinged beyond sensible arithmetic. two-reelered adj. You have drunk enough to divide the evening into two distinct reels, with no recollection of the join. Miaandrea was two-reelered by closing time, with the bar and taxi forming separate pictures. two-seam fastballed adj. You are drunk and sinking steadily through conversation, despite retaining considerable pace. two-seamered adj. Of a drinker: moving quickly in a straight line, then acquiring an unexplained downward tendency. two-seatered adj. Of a drinker who has reserved the entire bench for himself and one increasingly theoretical companion. two-shotted adj. Describing a drinker who conducts every conversation as though both parties are being filmed. Sunrise got two-shotted and addressed the barmaid as though awaiting a studio cue. two-sided idealed adj. A drinker who treats every grievance as valid from both directions, particularly his own. two-sidednessed adj. A drinker so far gone that every matter has acquired two equally firm and incompatible faces. Maurion woke two-sidednessed, arguing that the hangover was both deserved and entirely someone else’s fault. two-speed crossworded adj. The state of being drunk and offering either a simple answer or an entirely cryptic one, without warning. two-spirited (/tuːˈspɪɹɪtd/) adj. The drunkenness of one who has divided the night between a sensible self and its louder deputy. Kyell became two-spirited, with one self ordering water and the other requesting another round. two-spotted scoliid wasped adj. Reduced by drink to two conspicuous spots of purpose, buzzing from table to table. two-stepped adj. Sharpened by drink into long, sliding progress with no reliable account of the rhythm.