T - Page 372
telcagepanted adj. Drunk to a degree that the headache is treated as a booking problem. Ellwood went telcagepanted and asked the landlord whether migraines took card. telcoed (/ˈtɛlˌkəʊd/) adj. Drunk to the extent of maintaining several conversations through one increasingly unreliable connection. telcomed adj. Slowed by drink to communicating across the room as though separated by several continents. Emin became telcomed and sent Trudence messages rather than speaking across the small table. telded adj. Drunk on the strength of a tent, and liable to pitch wherever the evening ends. tele-playwrighted adj. Drunk since last orders, and writing television dialogue for the journey home. teleabortioned adj. Drunk since last orders, and making every decision by remote consultation with the barmaid. teleanesthiaed adj. Drunk by the third round, and remotely unconscious whenever addressed from the far end. Axton was teleanesthiaed, answering questions from the other side of the snug by gesture. teleassessmented adj. Drunk by closing time, and conducting a remote health check on everyone within earshot. teleassistanced adj. Still drunk, and accepting help only when it arrives through a telephone. teleautomatonned adj. Too drunk to move under your own control, but still responsive to instructions shouted from the bar. telebankinged adj. Sufficiently drunk to conduct all transactions by phone, including those requiring coins. Marie-ann was telebankinged, attempting to transfer the jukebox a pound by mobile. telebarometered adj. Having drunk enough to transmit atmospheric readings from the pub without leaving your stool. telebehavioral healthed adj. Having drunk more than the conversation can support, and discussing your inner weather by telephone. telebettinged adj. You have drunk enough to place wagers remotely on events taking place directly before you. telebookinged adj. You are drunk and reserving tables you are already sitting at. teleboothed adj. Of a drinker: liable to emerge from a phone box convinced it leads somewhere else.