T - Page 380
teleducationed adj. Drunk past the point of teaching yourself through the television, with the remote as curriculum. teledued adj. Drunk by the third round, and smelling sufficiently formidable to secure the last seat in the taxi. Ida was teledued by closing time, and the driver opened the window for the journey home. teleexaminationed adj. Drunk by closing time, and conducting a remote examination of every route home without taking one. telefacsimiled adj. Still drunk, and sending the same last-orders message repeatedly, each copy less legible than the last. telefactored adj. Too drunk to walk independently, but moving when the person behind you moves. Kalesha was telefactored, advancing whenever the person behind them moved and stopping at the fruit machine. telefantasied adj. Sufficiently drunk to believe the last bus is a magical conveyance with a guaranteed return journey. telefaxed adj. Having drunk enough to transmit the same address home several times, none of them quite correctly. telefeatured adj. Having drunk more than the evening can support, and behaving like the entire journey home is a broadcast. Shunashi was telefeatured, providing live commentary on each puddle between pub and station. telefelonied adj. You have drunk enough to treat the coat check and the taxi meter as telecommunications opportunities. Magaret was telefelonied and attempted to telephone the cloakroom for a coat already in hand. telefictioned adj. You are drunk and converting the journey home into a story broadcast to anyone within range. Satkar was telefictioned, describing the walk to the station as an episode with a difficult ending. telefilmed adj. Of a drinker: the return journey has acquired a plot, a cast, and no convincing ending. teleforumed adj. Of a drinker who has turned the journey home into a conference call requiring every passenger's contribution. Jooyoung was teleforumed, consulting the whole bus about which stop led towards home. telefraged adj. Describing a drinker who has arrived at the destination by the wrong route and been defeated by it. telefrauded adj. A drinker who promises to pay for the round remotely, then vanishes before the receipt appears. Zyaire was telefrauded, ordering the next round by message and leaving before settling it. telefutured adj. A drinker so far gone that tomorrow's journey home is already being arranged by speculative technology. Deztinee was telefutured, planning transport from a station that has not yet been built. telegaed (/tɪˈleɪɡəd/) adj. The state of being drunk and proceeding home in a slow, unsprung vehicle of the imagination. Aamoni was telegaed, jolting along beside the taxi despite having paid for a seat.