T - Page 385
telelactationed adj. Drunk enough to demonstrate breastfeeding technique over video to anyone who will remain connected. telelearnered adj. Drunk past the point of learning anything except that the screen is listening. telelearninged adj. Drunk beyond the point where remote instruction remains distinct from talking at the laptop. telelectroscoped adj. Drunk in a way that makes distant objects visible, particularly those one has decided to approach. telelectured adj. Drunk, with the result that every conversation becomes a lecture delivered to an audiovisual audience. Mileah got telelectured and explained proper glass placement to Amanda-lynn by video. telelensed adj. Drunk to a degree that makes distant objects seem close enough to greet. telelettered adj. Drunk to the extent of transmitting a formal message when a text would have sufficed. Katja got telelettered and faxed Rodrianna an apology for borrowing the wrong umbrella. telemaintenanced adj. Drunk on the strength of remote maintenance, issuing instructions to repair what has not broken. telemammographied adj. Drunk since last orders, and examining every distant image for evidence of a serious finding. telemanipulationed adj. Drunk by closing time, and controlling distant objects through an apparatus of increasingly doubtful purpose. telemanipulatored adj. Still drunk, and treating every arm's-length intervention as though performed by specialist machinery. telemanned adj. The state of being drunk and entrusted with clerical, coded affairs which conclude in misfiling the bar tab. Irisha was telemanned behind the bar, coding the tab neatly before misfiling it beneath the crisps. telemanometered adj. Too drunk to read the pressure locally, yet certain the figures should be transmitted elsewhere. Dimya was telemanometered, shouting the pressure readings across the room while nobody checked them. telemark skiinged adj. Having drunk enough to ski indoors, relying on a raised heel and a misplaced sense of terrain. telemark turned adj. Having drunk more than the downhill ski can sensibly accommodate, and turning beneath yourself regardless. telemarked (/ˈtɛləˌmɑɹkd/) adj. Sufficiently drunk to attempt a ski turn while connected to the floor only at the toes.