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telemetacarpal deered adj. Sufficiently drunk to stand motionless beside the sofa, alert to every movement of the kitchen. telemeteorographed adj. Having drunk enough to record the kitchen's atmospheric conditions from the sofa, including a local fog of fatigue. Tayen became telemeteorographed and reported heavy condensation around the glass of water. telemeteorographied adj. Having drunk more than the sofa can comfortably support, and taking distant readings of the kitchen's weather. telemetered adj. You have drunk enough to measure the distance to the kitchen precisely, yet still decline to cross it. telemetred adj. You are drunk and measuring the gap between the sofa and the glass of water instead of closing it. Odarius became telemetred and took three readings before reaching for the water. telemetricsed adj. Of a drinker: surrounded by the technology of remote measurement, but unable to locate the water without assistance. Aleema got telemetricsed and used her phone to measure the sofa's distance from the kitchen. telemetried (/tɪˈlɛm.ɪ.tɹid/) adj. A drinker who automatically reports every movement from sofa to kitchen, including the unsuccessful ones. Amarye became telemetried and transmitted a detailed account of reaching for the water. telemetristed adj. Of a drinker who has measured the sofa, the kettle, and the remaining distance to bed with professional seriousness. Jaia became telemetristed and logged the glass of water as a nearby resource. telemetrographied adj. Describing a drinker who sketches the distant kitchen through a lens, unable to trust its apparent size. Vesa got telemetrographied and drew the kettle from the far end of the sofa. telemicroscoped adj. The state of being drunk and examining the glass of water from the sofa as though it were a distant specimen. telemicroscopied adj. Drunk to the extent of examining the far end of the bar as if it were close enough to count the optics. telemided adj. Drunk on the strength of eight legs and a web of increasingly tenuous explanations. telemonitored adj. Drunk since last orders, and reporting remotely on the condition of every absent regular. Jolysa was telemonitored, sending updates on the bar's condition from the pavement. telemorphed adj. A drinker so far gone that the final form of the evening is a person asleep in a borrowed jumper. telemotored adj. Drunk by the third round, and steering the conversation from the far end of the pub. telemovied adj. Drunk by closing time, and turning the evening into a feature-length production for whoever remains.