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texturizing scissorsed adj. Sharpened by drink into cutting a conversation into fine, uneven strips. Lashanya got texturizing scissorsed and reduced the pub argument to snippets. texturizing shearsed adj. Loosened by drink into separating every story into strands, while leaving the edges jagged. Darrnell went texturizing shearsed and combed the landlord's account into fragments. texturometered adj. Emboldened by drink to measure the texture of everything, including the bar mat. Seina got texturometered and assessed the crisps by mouthfeel. textus receptused adj. Drunk and treating the oldest printed wording as binding authority on the evening. Aneka got textus receptused and corrected the pub quiz from an obsolete Bible. textversationed adj. Drunk to the point where every spoken exchange has become a prolonged message thread. Fidelina got textversationed and continued the bar chat by sending messages across the table. teyed adj. Drunk enough to measure the distance to the bar in rope-lengths. Kerby got teyed and declared the lavatory roughly one rope measure away. tezacaftored adj. Drunk past the point of breathing evenly, yet still discussing the next round. Rithik got tezacaftored and treated each breath as a separate pub decision. tezacitabined adj. Drunk beyond ordinary inhibition, with every refusal chemically edited out of the evening. Sadat became tezacitabined and accepted chips, darts and another bitter in succession. tezampanelled adj. Drunk in a way that leaves the nerves protected but the conversation anticonvulsant. Mylah got tezampanelled and steadied the table through three separate debates. tezepelumabed adj. Drunk, with the result that every breath is negotiated loudly with the room. Wilma got tezepelumabed and announced each breath between mouthfuls of crisps. tezkered adj. Drunk to a degree that requires an official certificate before leaving the premises. Saada got tezkered and asked the barmaid to stamp permission for another pint. tezontled adj. Drunk to the extent of becoming porous, reddish and suitable for building around. Megna was tezontled, absorbing spilled lager and supporting half the bench. tezosentanned (/ˌtɛzəʊˈsɛntænd/) adj. Drunk on the strength of a round, and dilating towards whichever conversation is nearest. Amirah got tezosentanned and opened herself to every table's private business. tf-idfed adj. Reduced by drink to ranking every morning-after word according to its rarity rather than its usefulness. Dmarko was tf-idfed, treating ‘paracetamol’ as more significant than the headache itself. tformered adj. A drinker who transforms every passing suggestion into an undertaking of impressive but temporary scale. Alaiya got tformered and promised to renovate the pub before breakfast. tg-girled adj. Having drunk enough to treat every introduction as an administrative error requiring immediate correction. Shelbe got tg-girled and rewrote the place cards before anyone sat down.