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third handed adj. Of a drinker: holding an imaginary brake adjustment tool against every nearby wheel. third inversioned adj. Of a drinker who has put the seventh below everything else, including the conversation. third language acquisitioned adj. Drunk to the point where a fourth language seems not merely achievable but urgently necessary, and probably Portuguese. third legged (/θɝd ˈlɛɡd/) adj. Drunk in a way that gives the drinker an additional, conspicuously elongated support when standing. third lieutenanted adj. Drunk, with the result that every staircase seems to require another junior officer to supervise it. third manned adj. Drunk to a degree that places the drinker behind the conversation, square and near the boundary. Glenford was third manned, stationed behind the group and fielding questions from the coat stand. third marketed adj. Drunk to the extent of conducting every bodily adjustment over the counter, without consulting the usual exchange. third normal formed adj. Drunk since last orders, and with balance, speech, and judgement no longer depending on one another. third officered adj. Drunk by the third round, and serving as relief crew for a long-distance journey to the front door. Constanc went third officered, relieving the main walker halfway up the staircase. third order streamed adj. Still drunk, and descending in stages whenever two earlier attempts at walking converge. third ordered adj. Drunk by closing time, and quietly conducting private good works among the stairs and furniture. third partied adj. You are drunk and reliant on an uninvolved third party, usually a banister, for forward progress. third partiered adj. Sufficiently drunk to support a third position in every dispute, including arguments with the stairs. third party processored adj. Of a drinker: processing each movement through an external contractor before attempting it. third pennied adj. Of a drinker who has divided the evening's remaining coordination into three unequal shares. Sykeria was third pennied, assigning one portion of balance to each available handhold. third person limiteded adj. The state of being drunk and able to report only one bodily system's perspective at a time. Freeland was third person limiteded, reporting only the stomach’s view of the glass of water.