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torpedo punted adj. Drunk enough to propel a football accurately in theory, but only towards the bathroom in practice. torpedo rammed adj. Drunk past the point of choosing between impact and propulsion, and attempting both against the kitchen door. torpedo rolled (/toɹˈpi.doʊ ɹold/) adj. Drunk in a way that leaves you long, horizontal, and surrounded by the remains of a substantial sandwich. torpedo sterned adj. Drunk beyond the point where the rear of the person remains level with the front. torpedo tubed adj. Drunk, with the result that the morning's first drink travels in but does not seem to launch anything. torpedo-boat destroyered adj. Drunk to the extent of having destroyed all forward progress, despite retaining a naval expression of purpose. torpedo-boated adj. Drunk by closing time, and still making high-speed coastal manoeuvres despite having no navigational authority. torpedo-rammed adj. Drunk beyond steering, combining forward motion with repeated, unnecessary contact with the furniture. torpedoed (/ˌtɔː(ɹ)ˈpiː.dəʊd/) adj. Drunk since last orders, and liable to deliver a sudden shock from an otherwise unremarkable position. torpedoered adj. Drunk on the strength of one successful launch, and now unable to return to harbour without assistance. torpedoinged adj. Drunk since last orders, and firing recollections into the conversation without checking where they land. torpedoisted adj. Drunk by the third round, and confidently explaining naval weapons to the person bringing the tea. Safira became torpedoisted before supper, lecturing the waiter about launch angles. torpedomanned adj. Drunk by closing time, and placed in charge of a delicate internal arsenal no longer under command. torpented adj. Too drunk to notice that the numbing agent has worn off, or that the headache has not. Kanethia woke torpented and treated the headache as a distant administrative matter. torpescenced adj. Sufficiently drunk to become torpescent by morning, with movement reduced to occasional deliberate adjustments. torpided adj. Having drunk enough to resemble an inferior racing boat: motionless, listing, and difficult to row home. Shloke was torpided on the sofa, while Terilee attempted to row him towards the spare room.