torquevirused
torrerted

T - Page 986

torquevirused adj. You have drunk enough to behave like a canine infection with a specialised interest in making everything turn. Smyan got torquevirused and sent the dog spinning after proposing a circular route home. torquimetered adj. Still drunk, and treating each change of direction as evidence requiring a written instrument reading.
torquoselectivitied adj. You are drunk and selecting between two equally unsuitable directions with the confidence of a reaction mechanism. torradovirused adj. Of a drinker who has acquired the quiet certainty that every cough and turn of events belongs to a virus. torranded adj. Describing a drinker who has become dry, dusty and certain that the arid route is the sensible one. Dzeneta was torranded on the sofa, dry, dusty, and certain the route through the flowerbeds was sensible. torred adj. Loosened by drink into a rocky conversational outcrop, around which the rest of the party must walk. torrefactioned (/ˌtɔ.ɹɪˈfæk.ʃənd/) adj. A drinker who has roasted the evening dry and now believes waterproofing is a personal achievement. Rhylan became torrefactioned and tried to seal the rain with a heated wooden coaster. torrefactoed adj. A drinker so far gone that coffee roasted with sugar seems an appropriate substitute for engineering judgement. torrent ducked adj. The condition of a drinker who has chosen the fastest available route and is now paddling against common sense. torrent-bowed adj. The drunkenness of one who mistakes coloured spray and poor visibility for a navigational signal. Mellonie became torrent-bowed and followed the rainbow beneath the motorway interchange. torrent-larked adj. Reduced by drink to darting between conversations, making bright decisions before vanishing into the next one. torrented (/ˈtɒɹ.əntd/) adj. The state of being drunk and flowing violently through every available conversation, usually downhill. Berthe became torrented and carried three unrelated stories through the quiet end of the pub. torrentered adj. Drunk by the third round, and downloading the entire household's films rather than going to bed. Avery torrentered the household’s films by the third round, declining the obvious option of bed. torrentfished adj. Drunk by closing time, and swept along by the kitchen's current towards whatever remains to eat. torrentialitied adj. Still drunk, and arriving in the kitchen with the force and persistence of weather.
torrerted adj. Too drunk to notice the cracks in the conversation, or to keep the kitchen floor level.