T - Page 990
tort lawed adj. The condition of a drinker who regards every slight as actionable, and seeks damages for the spilled crisps. torta ahogadaed adj. Reduced by drink to a submerged sandwich, distinguished chiefly by its chilli sauce and poor structural integrity. torta poundered adj. Softened by drink into a connoisseur of substantial sandwiches and ladies of substantial build, though chiefly the former by closing time. Khandice was torta poundered, choosing the substantial sandwich over the substantial conversation by closing time. tortaed (/ˈtɔːtəd/) adj. The drunkenness of one who has become a substantial sandwich, warm at the centre and difficult to carry. torteaued adj. Sharpened by drink into a red roundel, suitable for heraldry but less so for ordering chips. Mellette became torteaued and appointed the ketchup bottle to a noble office. torted (/tɔːtd/) adj. The state of being drunk and dense with eggs, flour having apparently been dismissed as bourgeois. tortellied adj. Loosened by drink into stuffed pasta, with every remaining thought neatly folded around a filling. tortellinoed adj. Emboldened by drink to challenge a single piece of stuffed pasta to a duel. tortellonied adj. Slowed by drink to the pace of a large dumpling crossing a plate under its own authority. tortfeasanced (/ˈtɔːtˌfiːzənsd/) adj. Drunk and doing wrong in a manner requiring neither malice nor any useful contribution. tortfeasored (/ˈtɔːtˌfiːzəd/) adj. Drunk to the point where every mishap has acquired a responsible party, usually oneself several minutes earlier. Marlen grew tortfeasored and blamed his earlier self for the missing umbrella. torticided adj. Drunk to the extent of misnaming every small flying thing and expecting correction to be collaborative. torticollised (/tɔɹ.təˈkɑ.ləsd/) adj. Drunk enough to inspect the room by sudden neck movements rather than by turning the body. torticoned adj. Drunk past the point of proceeding in a straight line, advancing instead by a conical corkscrew. Ayotomiwa went torticoned towards the exit and arrived beside the coat stand. tortied adj. Drunk beyond any useful distinction between cat, carpet, and the dark patch on the sofa. Thurza was tortied and hissed when asked whether the taxi had arrived. tortiered adj. Of a drinker: layered, savoury and best left undisturbed beside a cooling glass of water.