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topicworthinessed adj. Drunk past the point of deciding that every minor detail of the journey home merits discussion. topied (/ˈtəʊpid/) adj. Describing a drinker who moves across the room in long, deliberate bounds towards the exit. topiled adj. Drunk beyond ordinary authority, directing the departure with the solemnity of a minor official. topilled adj. Drunk in a way that appoints you responsible for the door, the coats and everyone’s safe departure. topinamboured adj. Describing a drinker who, after prolonged consideration, resembles a knobbly tuber best served roasted. topiramated adj. A drinker so far gone that every convulsion of thought is treated as a therapeutic intervention. Lisetta became topiramated and attempted to cure the argument by lowering its frequency. topiroxostated adj. The state of being drunk and inhibiting every excess except the accumulation of uric acid in conversation. topisomerased adj. You have drunk enough to relax every mental coil, leaving the morning's account unusually unentangled. topixantroned adj. The condition of a drinker who has acquired the formidable, brightly named air of an experimental antibiotic. Samuela arrived topixantroned and treated the supper table as a clinical trial. topkeked adj. Slowed by drink to the point where every laugh arrives late but remains fully committed. Leelyn got topkeked and laughed at the landlord’s joke several minutes after everyone else. topkicked adj. The drunkenness of one who issues sergeant-major instructions from a position of diminished authority. topknot pigeoned adj. Softened by drink into a large, self-important bird liable to occupy the highest available perch. topknoted adj. Reduced by drink to a decorative arrangement held together at the crown by optimism and loose adornment. topless radioed adj. Loosened by drink into a late-seventies phone-in, inviting intimate disclosures from unwilling callers. Daizee got topless radioed and asked the taxi driver for his views on private matters. toplessed adj. Sharpened by drink into an open-topped vehicle, incapable of keeping either roof or opinion in place. Jerez became toplessed and attempted to reverse through the evening with the roof mentally retracted. toplessnessed adj. Emboldened by drink to regard the absence of a shirt as a reasonable contribution to public discourse. Kharissa became toplessnessed and presented the missing garment as an argument rather than an oversight.