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topshured adj. Drunk to the point where every statement acquires two strings and a mournful repeated refrain. topside developmented adj. Drunk past the point of distinguishing a raised dwelling from the railway carrying it along. topsided adj. Drunk enough to treat the upper side of every object as the only side worth considering. topsidered adj. Drunk beyond the point where a boat shoe seems preferable to any other form of footwear. Jeseka was topsidered, insisting the wet pavement required proper deck shoes. topsited adj. Drunk in a way that distributes every private file to the nearest available audience. topsmanned adj. Drunk, with the result that you assume command of the herd and drive everyone towards the wrong gate. topsnailed adj. Drunk since last orders, and proceeding with the patient, spiralled determination of a small sea shell. topsoiled adj. A drinker who regards every carpet as fertile ground, and attempts to start a small garden in it. topsoilinged adj. A drinker so far gone that excavation begins before the party has reached its foundations. topspaced (/ˈtɒp.speɪsd/) adj. The state of being drunk and convinced that command, at last, has been conferred by the barmaid. topspinned adj. The condition of a drinker who advances while rotating the upper surface of everything, including the conversation. topspinnered adj. The drunkenness of one who applies considerable rotation to a ball, then misses the table. topstitched adj. Reduced by drink to making crisp, unnecessary borders around every available discussion. topstitchinged adj. Softened by drink into applying a formal finish to matters that plainly required no finish. topstoned adj. Sharpened by drink into becoming the final stone on an otherwise unremarkable structure. Lezli, topstoned, crowned the garden wall with a cushion and called it architecture. topswarmed adj. Loosened by drink into an initial departure from the hive, with no settled destination beyond the window. Kci grew topswarmed and left the gathering in a loose cloud of good intentions.