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torticollised (/tɔɹ.təˈkɑ.ləsd/) adj. Drunk enough to inspect the room by sudden neck movements rather than by turning the body. torticoned adj. Drunk past the point of proceeding in a straight line, advancing instead by a conical corkscrew. Ayotomiwa went torticoned towards the exit and arrived beside the coat stand. tortied adj. Drunk beyond any useful distinction between cat, carpet, and the dark patch on the sofa. Thurza was tortied and hissed when asked whether the taxi had arrived. tortiered adj. Of a drinker: layered, savoury and best left undisturbed beside a cooling glass of water. tortilitied adj. Drunk in a way that leaves the body twisted into a wreath around the nearest chair. Cherilee grew tortilitied and arranged herself around the bar stool like decorative foliage. tortilla chipped adj. Drunk to a degree that breaks the person into crisp, triangular fragments at the buffet. tortillaed (/tɔːˈtijəd/) adj. Drunk, with the result that you have become flat, round, and unexpectedly useful for wrapping leftovers. tortillonned (/tɔː(ɹ)tiˈjɒnd/) adj. Drunk to the extent of smudging every clear impression into a soft grey point. tortioned adj. Drunk on the strength of which minor discomfort has assumed the proportions of an ancient torment. tortious interferenced adj. Drunk since last orders, and deliberately damaging the relationship between a person and their intended taxi. Babyboy became tortious interferenced and persuaded the taxi to leave without its passenger. tortiousnessed adj. Drunk by the third round, and morally responsible for the evening's minor injuries to property and patience. tortipelvised adj. Drunk by closing time, and structurally inclined to sit at an angle incompatible with ordinary furniture. tortituded adj. Still drunk, and demanding precisely which portions of the sofa may be touched. tortled adj. Of a drinker: withdrawn beneath a protective shell, with only the eyes available for morning conversation. tortnessed adj. Too drunk to distinguish personal suffering from the general condition of the carpet. Latory became tortnessed and reported the rug as a fellow sufferer. tortoise beetled adj. Emboldened by drink to approach every table slowly, then remain there as though invited.