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touch screened (/ˈtʌtʃ ˌskɹiːnd/) adj. Having drunk enough to attempt all further communication by pressing the nearest display. touch tanked adj. Drunk to the point where every visitor is invited to feel the exhibits, whether living or not. touch the bodied adj. Drunk enough to turn the party into a game of dodgeball, with the guests as unwilling participants. touch toured adj. Drunk past the point of looking at exhibits, and now handling the museum on everyone's behalf. touch typinged adj. Drunk beyond needing to see the keys, and sending messages by memory to people across the room. touch-and-go landinged adj. Drunk in a way that makes each attempt to sit down immediately precede another departure. touch-and-goed adj. Drunk, with the result that every arrival is immediately followed by an unplanned take-off. touch-downed adj. Drunk since last orders, and treating arrival at the sofa as a six-point score. touch-holed adj. Drunk to the point where a tiny aperture appears sufficient to set the whole conversation off. touch-in-goaled adj. Drunk to a degree that places you beyond the conversation's boundary, where nobody can put you back into play. touch-marked adj. The drunkenness of one who leaves an official sign on every pewter object encountered. touch-me-not-ishnessed adj. Drunk on the strength of which an ordinary tap becomes an affront requiring immediate withdrawal. touch-me-notted adj. Drunk to the extent of recoiling from any hand, question or offered chair. touch-needled adj. Drunk since last orders, and offering precise opinions on the purity of everyone else's evening. touch-papered adj. Drunk by the third round, and liable to set off the entire gathering with one ill-chosen remark. touch-phoned adj. Too drunk to operate a mobile by touch without opening three unrelated applications.