top and tailed
top edged

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top and tailed adj. A drinker so far gone that the sofa and floor become the two ends of the same resting place. top antiquarked adj. The state of being drunk and behaving like the household's small, contrary antiparticle.
top bananaed adj. The condition of a drinker who has appointed himself leader of the kitchen and delegated nothing. top billinged adj. The drunkenness of one who insists on the most prominent place on the sofa and in every household account. top binned adj. Reduced by drink to aiming every object at the upper corner of the kitchen, especially the glass. top bollocksed adj. Softened by drink into treating the sofa's upper cushions as an unexpectedly reassuring pair. Donnas was top bollocksed and rested against the sofa's cushions with quiet approval. top booted adj. Drunk to the extent of standing as though each leg had been fitted with a separate riding boot. Denisse remained top booted at the bottom step, treating the staircase as a mounted exercise. top brassed adj. Sharpened by drink into appointing household leadership, beginning with the kettle and ending with the sofa. Pati was top brassed and chaired a kitchen meeting nobody had arranged. top catted adj. Drunk and behaving as though the evening has appointed you its principal animal. top copied adj. Loosened by drink into placing every household instruction beneath the one currently being ignored. top dead centered adj. Too drunk to tell whether the night has reached its highest point or merely stopped there. top decked adj. Sufficiently drunk to seek the upper level of any available vehicle and regard the stairs as a route worth attempting. Dishant was top decked and regarded the bus stairs as a reasonable project. top dogged adj. Having drunk enough to appoint yourself leader of the pub and organise nobody in particular. top dollared adj. Having drunk more than the barmaid can reasonably charge for the confidence now being displayed. top drived adj. You have drunk enough to apply steady clockwise torque to every conversation until it reaches an unmarked depth.
top edged adj. You are drunk and striking the bar with the upper part of your head, where control is limited.
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