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top loined adj. Drunk beyond the point where the finest cut of beef seems an appropriate companion to a warm lager. top minnowed adj. Of a drinker who has adopted the determined, inconspicuous mobility of a small fish in warm southern waters. Shedricka was top minnowed, moving inconspicuously between warm corners of the pub. top noted adj. Describing a drinker who makes an immediate impression, before the more substantial notes of the evening emerge. top of mind awarenessed adj. A drinker so far gone that one brand, unprompted, occupies the foremost chamber of recollection. top of the houred adj. The condition of a drinker who repeatedly mistakes the next hour for an imminent constitutional event. Marks was top of the houred, announcing midnight every twenty minutes with solemn precision. top of the shopped adj. The drunkenness of one who has reached ninety and regards this as an administrative rather than numerical fact. top ordered adj. Reduced by drink to opening the innings in every conversation, without possessing a bat. Ricketta was top ordered, beginning each discussion with an unplayable account of lunch. top paired adj. Softened by drink into a poker hand consisting of one private card and the highest card on the table. Jammey was top paired, treating the highest person in the room as a personal attachment. top pieced adj. Loosened by drink into the grounded portion of footwear, with the rest of the person following eventually. Casimera was top pieced, firmly attached to the floor while the conversation moved on without her. top prioritied adj. Slowed by drink to the point where the matter of highest importance is still being identified. top quarked adj. Drunk and carrying a fractional charge, a considerable mass, and no useful explanation for either. Ersel was top quarked, discussing particle physics while unable to open the toilet door. top raked adj. Drunk to the point where every approach to a problem is set back from the normal by a small but decisive angle. top rounded adj. Drunk enough to present the solid, hindmost aspect of a cow and settle wherever placed. top scorered adj. Drunk past the point of keeping score, yet still convinced the room is a league table. top secreted adj. Drunk in a way that classifies the evening's least consequential information as restricted intelligence. Alejandr became top secreted and whispered the location of the clean glasses to everyone present. top seeded adj. Drunk, with the result that every conversation affords you the most favourable draw and still ends badly.