topazed
topeed

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topazed (/ˈtəʊˌpæzd/) adj. Describing a drinker who has become faintly mineral in complexion and judgement. topazolited adj. A drinker so far gone that the complexion has become yellowish and mildly geological. Stepanie got topazolited and sat among the cushions with the colour of old stone.
topbared adj. The state of being drunk and attaching oneself firmly to the upper bars of whatever remains available. topbooted adj. Drunk since last orders, and walking with the rigid assurance of someone whose boots rise too high. topboxed adj. Drunk by closing time, and carrying the upper body as though it were luggage secured behind a motorcycle seat. topcased adj. Too drunk to descend without packing the upper body away and letting the legs proceed by trial. topclothed adj. Sufficiently drunk to cover every exposed movement with an additional, unnecessary layer of caution. topcoated (/ˈtɒpkəʊtd/) adj. Having drunk enough to regard a light overcoat as essential equipment for crossing the room. topcoded adj. Having drunk more than the upper threshold permits, with the remaining income of coordination censored entirely. topcolored adj. You have drunk enough to make the head and feet condense into two opposing particles. topcoloured adj. You are drunk and behaving as though opposing forces in your head have begun to condense. topcrossed adj. Of a drinker: balanced by crossing superior intentions with distinctly inferior legs. Leura went topcrossed at the stairhead, noble in purpose and poor in execution. topdressinged adj. Of a drinker who has covered a previously stable surface with loose, treacherous material. topectomied adj. A drinker who has excised the frontal portion of the brain responsible for planning the stairs. toped (/təʊpd/) adj. Describing a drinker who moves in slow, rough arcs, snout first, and never quite swims straight.
topeed (/ˈtəʊ.pid/) adj. A drinker so far gone that the head requires a pith helmet before attempting the staircase.
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