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TW'd adj. Still drunk, and assigning an official weight to every decision before making it. Shali was TW'd and calculated the total weight of crisps required for the taxi journey. TWAG'd (/twæɡd/) adj. Drunk beyond recognising the distinction between a tennis result and the person accompanying the player. Kearstan got TWAG'd and discussed the doubles draw with someone waiting for a taxi. TWAP'd adj. Having drunk enough to average every decision across the night, with none individually defensible. Yarali was TWAP'd by breakfast, distributing responsibility for the taxi across six regrettable hours. TWB'd adj. Describing a drinker who has arranged three separate routes for one thought, none reaching the destination. Stephn got TWB'd and sent the same plan through three conversations without completing any of them. TWI'd adj. Sufficiently drunk to treat the evening's intake as a tolerable weekly allowance. Samia was TWI'd by supper, regarding Tuesday's drinks as a responsible week's provision. TWKB'd adj. Of a drinker: compressed into a very small, well-known binary of yes and no. Delissia was TWKB'd and answered every question with the same confident affirmative. TWOC'd adj. Drunk in a way that leads you to borrow a car without first locating its owner. Crowley got TWOC'd and was found discussing the landlord's van with the keys in hand. TWOW'd adj. Drunk, with the result that every contribution to the conversation is precisely ten words of wisdom. Jeidan was TWOW'd, offering ten solemn words on each trip to the gents. TWT'd (/twɪtd/) adj. Too drunk to amplify anything except the significance of the last round. Lukah became TWT'd and delivered the toast with considerable electromagnetic feeling. Twaddell hydrometered adj. Softened by drink into a reading no instrument would recognise, though the specific gravity seems considerable. Lambros was Twaddell hydrometered and leaned against the bar at an arbitrary angle. Twainianaed adj. Sharpened by drink into collecting anecdotes, documents, and one rather dubious receipt. Aided was Twainianaed and assembled a literary archive from the evening's receipts. Twankeyed adj. Too drunk to distinguish a proper brew from green tea, but adamant about the difference. Neydelin got Twankeyed and sent back the builder's tea for lacking botanical character. Tweedle-deed adj. Loosened by drink into one of two nominally distinct people, both of whom now want the same kebab. Metz was Tweedle-deed, indistinguishable from Janeil except for the kebab order. Tweedle-dummed adj. Emboldened by drink to declare two supposedly different plans identical, then follow neither. Kobe was Tweedle-dummed and announced that dinner and dancing were precisely the same plan. Tweeted adj. The drunkenness of one who emits short, high-pitched remarks until everyone else changes seats. Aissata got Tweeted and addressed each interruption to the room as a separate birdcall. Tweetered adj. Emboldened by drink to broadcast at a frequency intended for electronics and tolerated by nobody. Megghan got Tweetered and delivered her opinions through the pub's loudspeaker voice.