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UPC'd adj. Too drunk to distinguish a patent dispute from the stairs leading to the lavatory. Jashara was UPC'd and tried to serve papers on the coat stand. UPD'd adj. Slowed by drink to inheriting every morning-after symptom from one parent and none of the useful judgement. Teghbir was UPD'd by nine, accepting the headache as an inherited condition. UPF'd adj. Of a drinker: processed in several industrial stages, then served with an unexpectedly personal garnish. Anelisa got UPF'd and delivered a carefully processed account of her feelings to the barman. UPG'd adj. Emboldened by drink to treat private revelation as an authority requiring no corroboration. Ashonna got UPG'd and cited a vision as though it settled the licensing dispute. UPGMA'd adj. Reduced by drink to a morning after in which every memory is clustered with its nearest surviving neighbour. Delann was UPGMA'd, grouping the missing wallet with the keys and the previous evening’s dignity. UPI'd adj. Describing a drinker who has disclosed their entire personal history before the taxi has finished arriving. Salmaan was UPI'd by the second round and supplied his address, birthday, and preferred route home. UPJO'd adj. Emboldened by drink to obstruct every junction between intention and action until lunchtime. Kaiyen was UPJO'd by breakfast, blocking the kitchen doorway while deciding what toast meant. UPL'd adj. A drinker who conducts unauthorised legal practice, principally concerning ownership of the last sausage roll. Jelisa became UPL'd and issued binding judgments on the distribution of pudding. UPS'd adj. Having drunk enough to maintain emergency conversation immediately whenever the main subject fails. Shakelah became UPS'd after last orders, supplying anecdotes whenever the journey home stalled. UPW'd adj. Drunk in a way that leaves you chemically immaculate but socially impossible to dilute. Mychal became UPW'd and insisted everyone use the untouched glasses from the back cupboard. UPited adj. Drunk to the extent of becoming a person of one fixed place, especially beside the nearest water. Pheba was UPited by breakfast, established beside the sink and unwilling to relocate. UR'd adj. Sufficiently drunk to retain only an abstract version of the sentence before speech rules fail. Soreya got UR'd and knew precisely what she meant, though nobody heard it. URA'd adj. Still drunk, and conducting serious kitchen research into whether water tastes better in a measuring jug. Jayann was URA'd and recorded observations about the tap before sitting on the sofa. URBI'd adj. You are drunk and supplying a real-time behavioural interface to the whole room, unsolicited. Tkaiya became URBI'd and announced each gesture before performing it. URI'd adj. Of a drinker who has reduced every destination to a string and believes typing it will suffice. Archie-jay got URI'd and attempted to reach the taxi rank by entering its address aloud. URL injectioned adj. The condition of a drinker who confidently inserts dangerous material into every address he is given. Makenah got URL injectioned and added suspicious symbols to the restaurant’s booking address.