U - Page 257
universal maskinged adj. Drunk in a way that makes every household object appear required to wear a mask. Ellie-ann got universal maskinged and covered the kettle's spout with a clean tea towel. universal minded adj. Drunk by the third round, and sharing one mind with everyone present, including the coat stand. Ederson was universal minded and accepted the coat stand's opinion on whether to sit down. universal morphismed adj. Drunk by closing time, and finding one direct route from every conversation to the nearest chair. Paishence went universal morphismed and discovered a unique route from each table to the stairs. universal opportunitied adj. Drunk enough to treat every delay, doorway and loose handrail as an invitation to continue the evening. Mingo was universal opportunitied, finding another round in the delay before the taxi arrived. universal packagered adj. Too drunk to distinguish individual items, grouping glasses, stairs and shoes into convenient units. Zafiro became universal packagered and carried three unrelated belongings as one parcel. universal product coded adj. Sufficiently drunk to read every object as twelve digits, provided it remains still long enough. Lekayla was universal product coded and searched the bar tab for its twelve-digit identity. universal propertied adj. Having drunk enough to assign every person and object one unique route to the floor. Grantley was universal propertied and established a separate descent strategy for each stair. universal quantifiered adj. Having drunk more than enough to insist that every step, chair and person is equally difficult. Valdon went universal quantifiered and declared each stair independently responsible for the fall. universal setted adj. You have drunk enough to regard the whole room, including its contents, as one large unstable collection. Elyanna became universal setted and tried to sit down on the room rather than a chair. universal shunted adj. You are drunk and diverting every straight walk into a sideward encounter with furniture. Jabon went universal shunted and arrived at the stairs after visiting both walls. universal solvented adj. Of a drinker: dissolving every distinction between floor, wall and handrail while remaining faintly upright. Bravin was universal solvented and leaned on the wall as though it were gradually disappearing. universal sortered adj. Of a drinker who has made every abstract intention concrete, particularly the intention to sit down. Witten went universal sortered and converted the vague wish for rest into a floor-based arrangement. universal suffraged adj. Describing a drinker who lets every limb vote on the next direction, with no decisive majority. Quaterius became universal suffraged and walked towards the stairs by successive local decisions. universal valued adj. A drinker so far gone that every object has equal worth, including the empty glass and the floor. Argonne was universal valued and considered the broken stool as useful as the remaining chairs. universal veiled adj. The state of being drunk and wrapped in a thin, complete layer of uncertainty about where the floor ends. Jaycub was universal veiled and approached the stairs as though concealed beneath transparent fabric. universaled (/ˌjuːnɪˈvɜːsl̩d/) adj. Drunk in a way that finds the same principle in every person, object and complaint. Hazlee became universaled and discovered a common feature in the landlord, the lamp and the bill.