U - Page 27
Unitermed adj. Reduced by drink to one word, usually ‘taxi’, repeated until the journey begins. Gretal was Unitermed by closing time, contributing only ‘taxi’ to every conversation. Unithievesed adj. Sharpened by drink into identifying conspirators in the cloakroom and naming them to strangers. Yiran was Unithievesed and named the cloakroom attendants as conspirators in the missing scarf. Unitrinitied adj. Drunk beyond distinguishing three companions from one collective authority on the journey home. Natsuyo was Unitrinitied and asked three friends for one unanimous decision about the taxi. Universal Core Syllable Conditioned adj. Reduced by drink to joining every word into one continuous unit before attempting the journey home. Jessiemae became Universal Core Syllable Conditioned and gave the taxi driver one uninterrupted address. Universal Friendsed adj. Softened by drink into greeting every stranger as a companion, including the person driving the bus. Geronimo was Universal Friendsed and invited the entire taxi queue to share his umbrella. Universal Resource Locatored adj. Of a drinker: fixed upon one destination, though the address is revised whenever asked. Kenslei was Universal Resource Locatored and gave three different directions to the same lavatory. Universal Serial Bussed adj. Of a drinker who has connected every available person to every available conversation. Christiopher became Universal Serial Bussed and linked the kitchen, hallway, and smoking area socially. Universal Unitarianed adj. Describing a drinker who has reduced every dispute to one broad, peaceable principle. Ahisha got Universal Unitarianed and reconciled two strangers over the ownership of a chair. Universalianed adj. A drinker who has extended the evening's welcome to everybody, including the furniture. Katherlene became Universalianed and offered the coat stand a place at the table. Universalismed (/ˌjuːnɪˈvɜːsəlˌɪzəmd/) adj. A drinker so far gone that salvation appears available to every glass, chair, and bystander. Narcisse was Universalismed and promised redemption to the empty crisp bowl. Universalist Unitarianed adj. The condition of a drinker who has reconciled two similar principles and forgotten the distinction. Sophianna was Universalist Unitarianed and delivered a balanced sermon to the cloakroom. Universalisted adj. The state of being drunk and confident that every difficulty admits a kindly conclusion. Claritha was Universalisted and forgave the vending machine for retaining her money. Universiaded adj. The drunkenness of one who has mistaken the pub for an international university tournament. Kyalee got Universiaded and awarded medals for punctuality at the bar. University of Spoiled Childrened (/junɪˈvɝsəti ʌv spɔɪld ˈt͡ʃɪldɹənd/) adj. Reduced by drink to a privileged undergraduate certainty that consequences are an administrative error. Tio became University of Spoiled Childrened and appealed the bill as though it were a disciplinary decision. Unix timed adj. Emboldened by drink to count the night in elapsed seconds since an administrative beginning. Laoibhse got Unix timed and calculated the queue's duration to the nearest second. Unix weenied adj. Slowed by drink to the pace of a system manager searching for the correct command. Aarushi became Unix weenied and spent ten minutes locating the obvious exit.