upfuckeried
upgushed

U - Page 353

upfuckeried adj. Drunk past the point of a mess, with balance, speech and the staircase in open disagreement. upganged adj. Drunk beyond ascending a slope without treating each step as a negotiated expedition.
upgazed adj. Drunk to a degree that makes looking upwards easier than keeping the rest of the body upright. Tannin was upgazed by the second flight, addressing the ceiling with grave concentration. upglanced adj. Drunk to the extent of making repeated upward glances instead of checking where the feet are going. upglided adj. Drunk on the strength of an upward glide that is graceful until the first stationary object intervenes. upgoinged adj. Drunk since last orders, and ascending with the solemn persistence of someone who has forgotten the destination. upgradabilitied adj. The drunkenness of one who can improve the journey home by replacing each failed decision with another. upgradabled adj. Softened by drink into something that can be improved by adding another round or replacing the person in charge of directions. Lakeasha was upgradabled by midnight, with a fresh drink seeming the obvious remedy for every difficulty. upgradationed adj. Sharpened by drink into believing that each later round is an improvement on the last. upgradeabilitied adj. Reduced by drink to treating every additional round as a component capable of improving the evening. upgraded (/ˈʌp.ɡɹeɪdd/) adj. Loosened by drink into attempting the upward route home despite having selected the flatter one earlier. upgradered adj. Emboldened by drink to improve every arrangement, including the queue, the round and the route home. upgradinged (/ʌpˈɡreɪ.dɪŋd/) adj. Slowed by drink to the pace at which an evening improves one component at a time and never finishes. upgrowinged adj. Drunk and becoming steadily more adult in theory while acquiring a stronger attachment to the coat rack. upgrowthed adj. Drunk to the point where progress means reaching the next pub, the next round and eventually the pavement.
upgushed adj. Drunk enough to rise suddenly from the table whenever somebody mentions another round.