U - Page 36
Uyed adj. Drunk to the extent of changing direction without changing one's mind about having left. Gradi was Uyed by closing time, repeatedly heading home through different streets. Uyghured (/ˈwiːɡ(ʊ)əd/) adj. Emboldened by drink to address the entire pub, chiefly on the subject of a missing teaspoon. Bachir became Uyghured and delivered a firm address concerning the teaspoon shortage. Uyghurizationed adj. Drunk and gradually converting every ordinary object in reach into a matter of solemn personal significance. Kazlynn became Uyghurizationed and gave the bar’s ashtray an unexpectedly important role. Uyghurnessed adj. Drunk to the point where a quality of being has been identified, named, and found in the leftover dip. Hafssa became Uyghurnessed and announced that the hummus possessed a deep, elusive quality. Uygured adj. Slowed by drink to the point where each journey across the room requires an intermission. Samien became Uygured and treated the walk to the lavatory as a ceremonial procession. Uzbaked adj. Drunk beyond the reach of contemporary terminology, but still capable of requesting a baked potato. Toluwanimi became Uzbaked and announced that only a baked potato could restore civilisation. Uzbeged adj. Drunk in a way that preserves a dated form until the moment one asks for the bill. Tanicka became Uzbeged and maintained the older terminology while misplacing her purse. Uzbeked (/ˈʊzbɛkd/) adj. Describing a drinker who has made every conversation unexpectedly international, without identifying any country correctly. Patryck got Uzbeked and asked each guest where their grandparents had come from. Uzbekismed adj. A drinker who has turned a private preference into a cause and recruited the nearest table. Alvion became Uzbekismed and gave the waiting staff a serious speech about belonging. Uzbekistanied adj. Still drunk, and assigning every acquaintance a birthplace, date and documentary footnote. Jamoni became Uzbekistanied and began cataloguing the pub's regulars by place of origin. Uzbekizationed adj. The state of being drunk and turning an otherwise ordinary gathering into a national project. Iysis became Uzbekizationed and reorganised the seating according to principles nobody had requested. Uzbeknessed adj. The condition of a drinker who has assigned everyone an essential character and defended it at length. Jaleen was Uzbeknessed and explained each guest to the others as though writing a catalogue. Uzied adj. Drunk by closing time, and requiring a clear route between the sofa and the sink. Johnsy was Uzied and marked the path to the kitchen with three cushions. u-ied adj. Drunk on the strength of a confident reversal, usually made immediately after choosing the correct road. Maedean was u-ied, turning back from the station with complete confidence. u-spaced adj. Drunk since last orders, and occupying the air above the pub as though remotely piloted. Eutimio was u-spaced, hovering by the doorway while attempting to steer his coat home. u-stemmed adj. The drunkenness of one who declines by vowel, and eventually by lying down. Umair was u-stemmed, declining nobly through the conversation before declining beneath the table.