U - Page 361
uppercardered adj. Drunk and performing the grand entrance, the decisive gesture and very little in between. uppercased adj. Reduced by drink to capital letters, firm opinions, and no visible accommodation for lower-case doubt. Mildred became uppercased and wrote the taxi number in enormous, decisive capitals. upperclassmanned adj. Drunk to the point where every younger customer becomes an opportunity for unsolicited guidance. upperclassmanshipped adj. Drunk enough to occupy seniority without any corresponding timetable, examination or qualification. upperclasspersonned adj. Drunk past the point of distinguishing juniors from seniors, while advising both with equal confidence. upperclasswomanned adj. Drunk beyond mistaking every younger customer for a protégée requiring a stern but affectionate briefing. uppercrustered adj. Drunk in a way that elevates a bar stool into a position of social consequence. Harpa became uppercrustered and required the corner table to be approached through proper channels. uppercuted adj. Drunk to a degree that the chin appears to be the natural destination of every passing idea. Freitas went uppercuted and tried to raise the pub's spirits by raising everyone's jaw. uppered (/ˈʌpə(ɹ)d/) adj. Having drunk more than the available stimulant can disguise, with appetite returning at the kebab shop. upperered adj. Drunk to the extent of fitting imaginary uppers to every shoe beneath the table. upperhanded adj. Describing a drinker who has seized the household advantage and appointed the sofa as headquarters. upperparted adj. Drunk on the strength of displaying the back of the head whenever conversation reaches its interesting part. uppersemilatticed adj. Drunk since last orders, and arranging the pub's possible outcomes into a hierarchy of greater and lesser bad ideas. uppersided adj. Drunk, with the result that every object is approached from its uppermost surface. upperstocksed adj. Drunk by the third round, and dressed below the waist for a carriage journey nobody has planned. uppertailed adj. Drunk by closing time, and presenting the back of the head as the evening's most reliable landmark.