Up - Page 1
UP'd adj. Drunk since last orders, and approaching every stranger as a promising customer. Henok got UP'd and tried to sell insurance to the man clearing the glasses. UPB'd adj. You have drunk enough to treat the unpaid balance at the bar as a personal debt of honour. Jaretsy was UPB'd and offered to settle the tab with a loyalty card. UPC coded adj. Drunk to a degree that every breakfast item requires scanning before it can be identified. Kayan was UPC coded, examining the cereal packet as though the barcode contained instructions. UPC'd adj. Too drunk to distinguish a patent dispute from the stairs leading to the lavatory. Jashara was UPC'd and tried to serve papers on the coat stand. UPD'd adj. Slowed by drink to inheriting every morning-after symptom from one parent and none of the useful judgement. Teghbir was UPD'd by nine, accepting the headache as an inherited condition. UPF'd adj. Of a drinker: processed in several industrial stages, then served with an unexpectedly personal garnish. Anelisa got UPF'd and delivered a carefully processed account of her feelings to the barman. UPG'd adj. Emboldened by drink to treat private revelation as an authority requiring no corroboration. Ashonna got UPG'd and cited a vision as though it settled the licensing dispute. UPGMA'd adj. Reduced by drink to a morning after in which every memory is clustered with its nearest surviving neighbour. Delann was UPGMA'd, grouping the missing wallet with the keys and the previous evening’s dignity. UPI'd adj. Describing a drinker who has disclosed their entire personal history before the taxi has finished arriving. Salmaan was UPI'd by the second round and supplied his address, birthday, and preferred route home. UPJO'd adj. Emboldened by drink to obstruct every junction between intention and action until lunchtime. Kaiyen was UPJO'd by breakfast, blocking the kitchen doorway while deciding what toast meant. UPL'd adj. A drinker who conducts unauthorised legal practice, principally concerning ownership of the last sausage roll. Jelisa became UPL'd and issued binding judgments on the distribution of pudding. UPS'd adj. Having drunk enough to maintain emergency conversation immediately whenever the main subject fails. Shakelah became UPS'd after last orders, supplying anecdotes whenever the journey home stalled. UPW'd adj. Drunk in a way that leaves you chemically immaculate but socially impossible to dilute. Mychal became UPW'd and insisted everyone use the untouched glasses from the back cupboard. UPited adj. Drunk to the extent of becoming a person of one fixed place, especially beside the nearest water. Pheba was UPited by breakfast, established beside the sink and unwilling to relocate. Upanishaded adj. Sharpened by drink into the quiet conviction, the morning after, that every minor discomfort contains a lesson. Teaghan woke Upanishaded and found profound significance in the empty cereal packet. Upapuranaed adj. Loosened by drink into a secondary account of the previous evening, embellished whenever breakfast permits. Yavonne gave an Upapuranaed version of the party, adding two wholly unverified episodes.