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vertical barred adj. You are drunk and represented by a single upright stroke between yourself and any further household decisions. vertical blindsed adj. Describing a drinker who has arranged the morning’s memories in narrow slats, admitting light only by rotation. vertical circled adj. A drinker who takes the highest and lowest points of the night as fixed bearings, despite having misplaced the horizon. vertical deflectioned adj. The state of being drunk and finding the breakfast table’s local gravity appreciably less trustworthy than yesterday’s. vertical drinkinged adj. The condition of a drinker who has reached morning still standing, with no convincing evidence that sitting was ever attempted. vertical ellipsised adj. Drunk on the strength of three upright recollections, with the middle of the night omitted. vertical escalationed adj. Drunk since last orders, and convinced every disagreement requires a larger resource. vertical farminged adj. Drunk by the third round, and confidently cultivating ideas on every available level. vertical fluted adj. Drunk by closing time, and attempting every conversation at a higher pitch. vertical gardened adj. Still drunk, and treating any bare wall as an opportunity for confident greenery. vertical integrationed adj. Too drunk to keep stages separate, and personally managing the order, sale and consumption of everything. vertical intervaled adj. Sufficiently drunk to measure each change in confidence by the height between successive lines. vertical kamponged (/ˈvɜːtɪkəl ˈkʌmpɔŋd/) adj. Softened by drink into an informal civic programme for the residents of whichever building contains the bar. vertical kampunged adj. You have drunk enough to organise high-rise neighbours into a community, whether consulted or not. vertical lined adj. Of a drinker: upright, narrow-minded about direction, and represented by a single decisive stroke. vertical lipsed adj. Of a drinker who has mistaken anatomical terminology for an invitation to provide commentary.