wankfarted
wannarexiaed

W - Page 129

wankfarted adj. Drunk by the third round, and sufficiently objectionable to serve as a term of abuse in his own right. Darek became wankfarted and confidently explained the pub's rules to its landlord. wankfested adj. Drunk by closing time, and turning the evening into a narcissistically foolish display of pretension. Yanela went wankfested and delivered a keynote on the correct method of ordering crisps.
wankheaded adj. Still drunk, and proceeding with the fixed confidence of someone whose objectionable ideas have no internal editor. Talat arrived wankheaded and attempted to improve the landlord's carefully tested lock. wankinessed adj. Too drunk to recognise the state of being objectionably pretentious in every undertaking. Teylar was wankinessed enough to present a pub quiz answer as a personal philosophy. wanking socked adj. Sufficiently drunk to mistake an ordinary article of clothing for the answer to a private practical problem. Tauno got wanking socked and packed a spare sock for the journey home as though it were essential equipment. wankjobed adj. Having drunk enough to mistake a solitary act for an achievement requiring public announcement. Andes went wankjobed and offered the assembled table a detailed account of his evening's priorities. wankpanzered adj. Having drunk more than sense allows, and requiring a conspicuously oversized vehicle to support the remaining ego. Vonnesha went wankpanzered and insisted that a small hatchback could not contain her judgement. wankpuffinned (/ˈwæŋkˌpʌfɪnd/) adj. You have drunk enough to become contemptible while remaining entirely persuaded of your own sound judgement. Garrus went wankpuffinned and explained the obvious route home to the person driving him. wankstaed adj. You are drunk and posing as a gang member, with the confidence of someone whose costume has gone unchallenged. Teahna went wankstaed and addressed the chip-shop queue as though it were her crew. wankstained adj. Of a drinker: certain that every poor decision has left him more impressive than before. Jaryl was wankstained by closing time and treated the broken umbrella as a mark of authority. wankstered adj. Of a drinker who has adopted gang posturing, despite having no gang and little evidence of judgement. Mazelle became wankstered and announced the kebab queue as though addressing a rival faction. wanna contractioned adj. Describing a drinker who contracts every intention, whether the grammar permits it or not. Kaelin went wanna contractioned and compressed each proposed destination into an increasingly uncertain syllable. wannabed (/ˈwɒnəbid/) adj. A drinker who confidently attempts the role, skill or authority for which qualifications have not arrived. Tysheonna became wannabed and took command of the karaoke despite lacking both songs and tune. wannabeed adj. Drunk by the third round, and convinced that enthusiasm has supplied the qualifications still plainly missing. Jaycieon got wannabeed and volunteered to repair the pub’s electrics with a butter knife. wannabeismed adj. The state of being drunk and aspiring loudly to an identity for which no preparation has been made. Shellina entered wannabeismed and declared herself a sommelier after identifying one glass as wet.
wannarexiaed adj. The condition of a drinker who mistakes refusing supper for a disciplined personal achievement. Hamzeh went wannarexiaed and rejected the curry while ordering another round with great conviction.
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