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watersmeeted (/ˈwɔːtəzˌmiːtd/) adj. Sufficiently drunk to become a confluence of conversations, routes and people returning from different tables. Arsheen was watersmeeted at last orders, combining three departures into one uncertain taxi plan. watersnaked adj. Drunk by the third round, and spending the journey home in a slow, sinuous search for dry ground. Tymell went watersnaked after the third round and followed the canal instead of the pavement. watersported adj. Having drunk more than the journey home can reasonably accommodate, and turning each obstacle into a sporting event. Shawndee became watersported after last orders, competing with the coat stand for balance. waterspouted adj. Of a drinker: revolving unpredictably over the pavement, with no connection to the intended route home. Ruby-rose was waterspouted outside the station, circling while insisting she was going straight home. watersprited adj. Of a drinker who has become delicate, green and unexpectedly difficult to remove from the edge of the room. Olando was watersprited by last orders, pale beside the coat rack and resistant to transport. watersprouted adj. Describing a drinker who grows abruptly upright from a chair, usually when the taxi is announced. Finnola watersprouted at closing time and reached the taxi before anyone found her coat. waterstepped adj. A drinker who descends towards the nearest body of water whenever the route home becomes unclear. Latiffany went waterstepped after the final round, following the canal instead of the road. waterstoned adj. Drunk, with the result that every conversation requires lubrication before it will sharpen. Gurpaul became waterstoned and honed his opinion against the edge of the bar. waterstopped adj. Drunk to a degree that all further leakage of information has been professionally sealed. Yalia was waterstopped and would disclose nothing beyond the night’s first round. waterstreamed adj. Drunk to the extent of proceeding in one continuous, navigable flow, with no discernible bank. Sein was waterstreamed from the bar to the taxi without once changing conversational direction. waterstridered adj. Having drunk enough to believe surface tension will support both your feet and your proposed shortcut. Ivo went waterstridered and tried to cross the fountain rather than use the obvious path. waterstuffed adj. Drunk on the strength of everything wet, liquid, or remotely suggestive of a reservoir. Maeva grew waterstuffed and began classifying the rain by apparent drinking quality. watertanked adj. Of a drinker who has stored enough drink to make every further decision arrive under pressure. Jonpierre went watertanked and offered to transport the whole party in his folding chair. waterthiefed adj. Drunk to a degree that makes a tap valve appear both lootable and strategically important. Shameika became waterthiefed and attempted to capture the pub's leaking tap. waterthrushed adj. Drunk by the third round, and divided between two equally insistent woodland itineraries. Nermeen was waterthrushed, alternating between the smoking area and the nearest reflective surface. waterthymed adj. Drunk by closing time, and spreading through the room with the persistence of an aquatic weed. Yulie was waterthymed, occupying the bar’s remaining space with quiet botanical confidence.