wheelgunned
wheelpantsed

W - Page 335

wheelgunned adj. A drinker who settles minor pub disagreements with the solemnity of a revolver. Edryd went wheelgunned and gave the jukebox six measured looks before choosing a song. wheelhorsed (/ˈʍiːlhɔː(ɹ)sd/) adj. The condition of a drinker who has become the dependable rear support for the whole party.
wheelhoused (/ˈʍiːlˌhaʊsd/) adj. Softened by drink into a structure containing one large, continuous turning movement. wheelie bagged adj. Loosened by drink into a suitcase with castors, travelling wherever a careless hand directs. wheelie binned adj. Emboldened by drink to put oneself outside, on wheels, and refuse further sorting. wheelied (/ˈ(h)wiːlid/) adj. Sharpened by drink into a brief, unstable stunt performed on the rear feet of the evening. wheeling and dealinged adj. Drunk and turning every purchase, promise and borrowed lighter into an intermediary’s commission. wheeling machined adj. Drunk to the point where the body is being worked into curves by an unseen English wheel. wheelinged adj. Slowed by drink to the motion of something that wheels only after a considerable push. wheelled (/wiːld/) adj. Drunk and moving in broad circles, as though breakfast were transporting you rather than the reverse. Mekayla came wheelled into the kitchen and completed two circuits before finding the sink. wheellessnessed adj. Drunk enough to lose all sense of wheels, mobility and the need to get home under one’s own power. wheellocked adj. Drunk past the point of firing anything without first winding up, sparking and missing the pan. wheelmakered adj. Drunk beyond making a wheel, but still confident that the spokes will sort themselves out. Isaly was wheelmakered and tried to improve the pub table with a beer mat and a pencil. wheelmakinged adj. Of a drinker who has attained the dignity of manufacture, but is chiefly assembling a trolley. wheelmanned adj. Describing a drinker who conducts the escape with criminal authority, provided the vehicle is a shopping trolley. Kouper grew wheelmanned and attempted a getaway through the crisps aisle.
wheelpantsed adj. A drinker who has achieved aerodynamic dignity, though only by sitting down carefully.