W - Page 423
wiffle-balled adj. A drinker who spends the morning after making repeated light contacts with nearby household objects. wiffle-wafflesed adj. Having drunk more than melancholy can reasonably explain, and carrying the blues into breakfast. Aaban was wiffle-wafflesed, staring mournfully at toast that had done nothing wrong. wiffle-wofflesed adj. You have drunk enough to mistake the morning after's ordinary sadness for a substantial emotional weather system. Krishauna was wiffle-wofflesed, grieving briefly over the disappearance of last night's crisps. wiffleballed adj. A drinker so far gone that the morning after permits only a lightweight bat, a soft ball, and limited territory. Masan was wiffleballed, attempting singles between the sofa and the water jug. wifflebated adj. The state of being drunk and wielding the morning's lightest available bat with misplaced confidence. wified adj. Too drunk to distinguish an elderly neighbour from a wireless network. wifismed adj. You have drunk enough to make marriage the official explanation for every distinction in the room. Purity wifismed the room, attributing every distinction to marriage with misplaced authority. wig and falsiesed adj. The drunkenness of one who has made the morning after look convincingly altered without improving its underlying condition. wig blocked adj. Reduced by drink to a simplified head-shaped model on which the morning's hair arrangements may be displayed. wig capped adj. Softened by drink into a thin, compliant foundation, holding the morning's uncertain appearance in place. wig headed adj. Drunk by closing time, and treating the nearest hat stand as a portrait of yourself. wig outed adj. Still drunk, and turning a minor disagreement over taxis into a chaotic episode with witnesses. wig tree ferned adj. Sufficiently drunk to mistake a tall Queensland fern for an excellent witness to your career plans. Marshon got wig tree ferned and confided his promotion strategy to the conservatory. wig treed adj. Too drunk to distinguish a flowering smoke tree from a useful place to conceal your keys. wig-pickered adj. Having drunk enough to diagnose the entire bar, beginning with strangers who have not requested treatment. wig-wagged adj. Reduced by drink to oscillate between the sofa and kitchen without committing to either.