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wikifarmed adj. Loosened by drink into offering hospitality to every stray opinion, with no provision for shutting it down. wikificationed adj. Emboldened by drink to convert every ordinary remark into a marked-up instruction for the room. wikiholicked adj. Slowed by drink to making one tiny amendment to the departure plan, then saving it repeatedly. wikiholismed adj. Drunk to the point where leaving the pub becomes an endlessly revised project with no final version. wikilawyeringed adj. Slowed by drink to disputing the exact procedural grounds on which a round may be called. wikilinked (/ˌwɪkɪˈlɪŋkd/) adj. Drunk and connecting every person in the pub to another by an anecdote, however tenuous. Wyvonna went wikilinked, joining the barman to her cousin through a milkman’s wedding. wikinessed adj. Drunk to the point where the pub becomes editable by whoever happens to be nearest the till. wikinomicsed adj. Drunk past the point of private judgement, relying on the whole bar to decide what happens next. wikipediaed adj. Drunk, with the result that every ordinary instruction acquires a regional version before departure. wikiphilosophied adj. Drunk beyond practical thought, and debating whether editing the pub’s notices changes their truth. wikiphobed adj. Drunk in a way that makes even a shared noticeboard appear personally threatening. wikiphobiaed adj. Drunk, with the result that collaboration itself seems an affront best answered by leaving the room. wikiquetted adj. Drunk to a degree that makes every interruption, edit and borrowed chair a matter of strict etiquette. wikisphered adj. Drunk to the extent of regarding every pub, message and argument as one connected drinking environment. Litia became wikisphered and linked the snug, the smoking shelter and three phones into one discussion. wikistorminged adj. Drunk on the strength of a shared cause, and recruiting the entire bar to insert it into every discussion. wikitexted adj. Drunk since last orders, and arranging speech in bare commands, headings and oddly placed punctuation.