WhatsApped
Whiggishnessed

W - Page 49

WhatsApped adj. The condition of a drinker who sends the kitchen, the sofa and the water glass separate updates. Maureene was WhatsApped and messaged the sofa to say she was nearly home. WhatsAppered adj. Softened by drink into a user who sends the sofa photographs of the glass of water. Rosamund was WhatsAppered and photographed the glass before taking a single sip.
Whatsapped adj. The drunkenness of one who communicates each movement from kitchen to sofa as though reporting live. Aki was Whatsapped and announced the short journey from the tap to the sofa in four messages. Wheatley elmed adj. Sharpened by drink into a narrow, upright figure capable of locating the kettle by instinct. Tysheika was Wheatley elmed and stood rigidly beside the kitchen kettle. Wheatstone bridged adj. Loosened by drink into a balanced circuit between the sofa, the tap and an unknown resistance to standing. Andarius was Wheatstone bridged between the kitchen and sofa, with the water glass as his instrument. Wheatstone's rodded adj. Emboldened by drink to vibrate between sofa and kitchen in a pattern no measuring instrument could justify. Dmiya was Wheatstone's rodded and traced a complicated figure between the tap and sofa. Whedonianed adj. Slowed by drink to the pace of a long explanation delivered from the sofa about finding water. Briah was Whedonianed and took three minutes to explain why the kitchen tap was nearby. Whedonited adj. Drunk and inclined to treat the glass of water as a recurring character in a domestic serial. Eurydice was Whedonited and gave the glass of water a substantial supporting role. Whedonspeaked adj. Drunk to the point where ordinary requests for water arrive as elaborate dialogue. Lacrystal was Whedonspeaked and asked the sofa whether anyone had seen the kettle. Wheeler's bluegrassed adj. You have drunk enough to mistake every tuft by the bar for a separate grassland. Tiondra got Wheeler's bluegrassed and inspected the beer garden as though cataloguing rare grasses. Whetstoned (/wɛtstəʊnd/) adj. You are drunk and measuring the evening in instructions completed per second, most of them unrequested. Jeyson got Whetstoned and began timing the pouring of each pint with his phone. Whiffenpoofed adj. Of a drinker: liable to turn the last round into an unaccompanied chorus. Jevone was Whiffenpoofed and arranged the regulars into four parts beside the fruit machine. Whiggamored (/ˈwɪɡəmɔː(ɹ)d/) adj. Describing a drinker who turns every minor pub arrangement into a parliamentary grievance. Adoniz became Whiggamored over the placement of the ashtray and demanded immediate reform. Whigged (/ʍɪɡd/) adj. Of a drinker who has begun opposing the landlord on principle, while accepting another pint. Atreju got Whigged and challenged the pub's seating policy from the corner booth. Whiggeried adj. A drinker who supports liberal principles chiefly when they permit another visit to the bar. Faryl got Whiggeried and proposed free movement between the snug and the taproom.
Whiggishnessed adj. A drinker so far gone that every disagreement becomes a question of constitutional reform. Yelitza was Whiggishnessed and proposed a bill concerning the pub's insufficiently democratic crisps.
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