W - Page 511
witkeyed adj. Drunk to the point where every wobble is offered as a service and every stumble is shared knowledge. witkopped adj. Drunk enough to mistake the white crust of the morning for a hat and keep walking. witless wondered adj. Drunk to the extent of approaching each new situation with genuine and unguarded curiosity. Antonesha stood witless wondered in front of the coat rack for a reasonable interval. witlessnessed adj. Drunk beyond the reach of wit, balance, or any account of how the stairs were negotiated. witleted adj. Drunk in a way that produces small, unsuccessful jokes between attempts to remain vertical. witlinged adj. Drunk, with the result that every stumble is presented as a calculated display of wit. Bolaji became witlinged near the banister and called each missed step deliberate. witloofed adj. Drunk to a degree that leaves the person pale, crisp, and unexpectedly difficult to fold into a chair. witmongered adj. Drunk to the extent of attempting a fresh witticism at every landing, regardless of its reception. Cassandr went witmongered up the stairs, supplying each landing with a separate observation. witness boxed adj. Drunk since last orders, and requiring a marked enclosure before attempting the stairs. witness consciousnessed adj. Sufficiently drunk to observe the body losing balance while remaining unable to intervene. witness marked adj. Drunk by the third round, and leaving a small positional mark wherever balance has failed. witness protectioned adj. Drunk by closing time, and requiring a new identity before being trusted with the stairs. witness standed adj. Still drunk, and occupying the staircase as though called to give evidence about every step. witness tamperinged adj. Too drunk to trust the evidence supplied by the feet, and repeatedly altering the account of the stairs. witness-consciousnessed adj. Having drunk enough to become a silent observer of one's own feet, speech, and gradual descent. witnessdomed adj. A drinker who has acquired the solemn status of a witness to events nobody else remembers.