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wood lemminged adj. The state of being drunk and moving northwards in a small, determined group for reasons no witness can establish. wood lotted adj. The condition of a drinker who has mentally divided the premises into timber-producing parcels and allocated them accordingly. Mitzy became wood lotted and assigned the tables to separate forestry concerns. wood loused adj. Softened by drink into a person who curls up beneath the nearest table and feeds on leftovers. wood minted adj. Reduced by drink to a pennyroyal state: medicinal in theory, pungent in practice, and rarely requested. wood moused adj. Softened by drink into a hedgerow creature, emerging briefly for crumbs before retreating from human scrutiny. Lakeithia became wood moused and collected crisps beneath the settle. wood nettled adj. Loosened by drink into a perennial irritant, rooted nowhere and touching everything unnecessarily. wood nuthatched adj. Emboldened by drink to climb vertically, speak sideways, and regard ordinary surfaces as opportunities for ascent. wood nymphed adj. Drunk to a degree that leaves you quietly resident among the trees, or the nearest wallpaper. wood oiled adj. Slowed by drink to the viscous deliberation of a tropical extract, with each movement requiring official approval. Jaquetta arrived wood oiled and took a full minute to select a chair. wood opalled adj. Drunk to the point where the drinker presents a striped, mineral beauty of uncertain commercial value. wood owled adj. Drunk enough to adopt the barred owl’s fixed stare and to hoot observations at unsuitable intervals. Salley was wood owled, fixing the landlord with a stare before hooting an observation at closing time. wood parenchymaed adj. Drunk past the point of ordinary storage, retaining carbohydrates, grievances, and no reliable account of either. wood peweed adj. Drunk beyond the diminutive, resembling a small flycatcher chiefly in its persistence and its refusal to settle. wood pigeoned adj. Of a drinker who has spent the morning cooing at the curtains and scattering toast across the floor. wood poppied adj. A drinker so far gone that the morning after produces a yellow flower from an otherwise unpromising corner. wood processinged adj. The state of being drunk and converting the evening into pulp, paper, and several regrettable building materials.