W - Page 547
wood pulped adj. The condition of a drinker who has become soft, fibrous, and suitable for flattening into a morning newspaper. wood pussied adj. Reduced by drink to a skunk, with a defensive smell and no useful account of the previous evening. wood puttied adj. Softened by drink into a substance pressed into cracks, where it sets without improving the furniture. Lorali was wood puttied into the sofa, filling its corner until lunchtime. wood quailed adj. Sharpened by drink into a small forest bird, particularly alert to movement beneath the breakfast table. Abaan was wood quailed, darting from chair to chair whenever the kettle clicked. wood railed adj. Loosened by drink into a marsh bird, moving cautiously through the kitchen and calling from low cover. wood ratted adj. Sufficiently drunk to collect discarded objects and hide them for later consideration. Jassim went wood ratted and stored six beer mats inside the bread bin. wood roached adj. Emboldened by drink to emerge at dawn, cross the kitchen openly, and ignore the approaching slipper. wood rosed adj. Drunk and attached to the nearest available root, producing a curious growth by morning. Dakhia was wood rosed, clinging to the hall tree and flowering beside the umbrellas. wood saged adj. Drunk to the point where the morning is met with bitter leaves, grave counsel, and little practical assistance. wood sandpipered adj. Drunk enough to pick delicately through breakfast, taking the smallest possible steps between puddles of spilled tea. wood screwed adj. Drunk past the point of unscrewing, with a coarse thread through the morning and a stubborn head at one end. Kross was wood screwed, fixed firmly to the breakfast chair despite repeated invitations to stand. wood sedged adj. Drunk in a way that leaves the person standing in several thin, wavering clumps beside the water. wood shampooed adj. Drunk, with the result that the head has received a wooden beating and the morning feels medicinal. wood shopped adj. Drunk to a degree that turns the morning into a visit to a carpentry outlet for one essential item. Jalyiah was wood shopped, searching the shed for a board to repair an imaginary shelf. wood shotted adj. Drunk to the extent of striking the frame, missing the intended surface, and blaming the racket afterwards. Tammarra was wood shotted, hitting the doorframe and blaming the pub's architecture. wood sorrelled (/ˈwʊdˌsɒɹəld/) adj. Drunk on the strength of a woodland plant, leaving the morning white-flowered, edible, and rather tart.