W - Page 549
wood wooled adj. Drunk by the third round, and padding every decision with enough confidence to survive rough handling. wood-alcoholed adj. Drunk by closing time, and relying on the banister to convert intention into downward movement. wood-billed adj. Too drunk to distinguish pruning from attacking, but confident enough to demonstrate both. wood-blocked adj. Of a drinker who has lost the connection between intention and movement, especially at the top of stairs. wood-blockisted adj. Having drunk enough to provide percussion for the household, whether requested or not. wood-chipped adj. The state of being drunk and reduced to small, scattered intentions across the furniture. wood-coppered adj. Sufficiently drunk to treat every green mineral stain as a valuable discovery requiring immediate ownership. wood-eared adj. Of a drinker who has developed a soft, fungus-like receptiveness to the pub's closing noises. wood-elfed adj. Having drunk more than the woodland mythology can reasonably support, and beginning negotiations with the trees. wood-hewered adj. Drunk enough to divide the evening into manageable pieces, preferably beside the stove. wood-nymphed adj. Drunk to the extent of adopting a woodland manner and avoiding direct discussion. wood-oiled adj. Drunk and moving with the glossy, measured reluctance of a tree-derived oil under winter conditions. wood-pigeoned adj. Describing a drinker who wakes repeatedly, circles the kitchen, and returns to the same patch of toast. wood-rotted adj. Drunk beyond the point where the body’s supporting structure can be trusted to remain sound. wood-sered adj. Drunk past the point of sap, warmth, and useful movement, with winter settling over the sofa. wood-shaving flowered adj. Drunk beyond recognising the kitchen's floral arrangement as anything requiring explanation. Yisroel became wood-shaving flowered and watered the curtains instead of the plants.