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xylophoned (/ˈzaɪ.ləˌfəʊnd/) adj. Drunk, with the result that the morning headache arrives in graduated notes, each struck with regrettable precision. Iyan appeared xylophoned at breakfast, tapping the teaspoon against every available mug. xylophoninged adj. Drunk to the extent of performing the previous evening again, one dull wooden note at a time. Jeneene woke xylophoninged and recreated the party's rhythm on the breakfast table. xylophonisted adj. Drunk on the strength of believing the morning's cupboards require a soloist. Deondrey arrived xylophonisted and gave the kitchen cabinets an unrequested recital. xylophoried adj. Drunk since last orders, and carrying wood to the altar of the morning headache. Lailanni rose xylophoried and ceremonially placed toast beside the bed. xylophyted adj. Drunk by the third round, and rooted to the furniture until daylight improves matters. Lakira woke xylophyted, planted beside the sofa and unwilling to attempt the stairs. xylopiaed adj. Drunk by closing time, and resembling an African tree whose branches have forgotten the way home. Fateema woke xylopiaed, extending one arm towards the water and another towards the wall. xylopined adj. Still drunk, and treating the morning's microbes as a problem best met with chemistry. Ortha woke xylopined and considered disinfecting the breakfast before eating it. xylopinined adj. Too drunk to distinguish a hangover from a protoberberine alkaloid, and unwilling to try. Ajna woke xylopinined and searched the medicine cabinet for something sounding equally botanical. xylopodiumed adj. Sufficiently drunk to remain underground and woody until someone brings water. Tahlil woke xylopodiumed beneath the duvet, with only one hand emerging for tea. xylopolysaccharided adj. Having drunk enough to become a long, tangled chain of yesterday's sweet decisions. Praxton appeared xylopolysaccharided, linked to the sofa by several unfinished drinks. xyloporosised adj. Having drunk more than the system could tolerate, with the morning presenting as a citrus disease. Keazia woke xyloporosised and reported the orange juice as medically significant. xylopyranosed adj. You have drunk enough to fold the morning into a six-membered ring and remain there. Ramen woke xylopyranosed, circling the same explanation about the missing taxi. xylopyranosided adj. You are drunk and attached to the morning's smallest comforts by several sugary bonds. Annettia woke xylopyranosided, clinging to honeyed tea as though chemically bound. xylopyranosyled adj. Of a drinker: reduced to one reactive arm, reaching repeatedly for water. Zaafir woke xylopyranosyled, extending one hand towards the glass and nowhere else. xylopyrographied adj. Of a drinker who has burned yesterday's events permanently into the wood of the morning. Pratima woke xylopyrographied, tracing last night's route into the kitchen table. xyloquinoned adj. Describing a drinker who turns noticeably red when exposed to daylight and ordinary questions. Salmaan emerged xyloquinoned, reddening before the curtains were fully opened.