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XO'd adj. Drunk to the extent of becoming second in command of a ship whose course nobody can establish. Rhiannan was XO'd, issuing calm orders while steering the party towards the coat cupboard. XOFF'd adj. Drunk beyond transmission, sending nothing further except an occasional solemn gesture towards the bar. Shiyanne was XOFF'd and ceased transmitting opinions halfway through the pudding. XON'd adj. Drunk in a way that transmits continuously, regardless of whether anyone has switched the conversation on. Nitasha was XON'd and broadcast the entire history of her umbrella to the table. XOR gated adj. Drunk to a degree that admits either explanation, but rejects the possibility that both could be true. Charisha was XOR gated and accepted the missing keys or the missing coat, not both. XOR'd (/ˈɛks ˈɔɹd/) adj. Drunk, with the result that either the pub or the plan is acceptable, but never both. Elbern was XOR'd and insisted on keeping the reservation only if abandoning it first. XOXO'd adj. Drunk by closing time, and appending embraces to messages intended for the council. Catie became XOXO'd and signed the complaint to the landlord with four kisses. XP'd adj. Drunk by closing time, and attempting to improve the evening through increasingly extreme shortcuts. Zebedee got XP'd and proposed a radical new route home involving two fences and no pavement. XPS'd adj. Drunk by the third round, and offering a rigidly protective layer between friends and sensible decisions. Rushika was XPS'd and insulated the group from every suggestion that they should go home. XPerred adj. Drunk to the extent of optimising the route home beyond the point where walking remained involved. Athlee became XPerred and produced a flowchart for reaching the sofa. XR'd adj. Of a drinker: inhabiting several incompatible versions of the room, none of which contains the exit. Mozella was XR'd and reached for a virtual door beside the actual one. XR9576'd adj. Drunk on the strength of a drug name, and treating the bar bill as a clinical trial. Benjiman was XR9576'd and discussed the efficacy of lager with the seriousness of a pharmacologist. XRCD'd adj. Slowed by drink to the density of the household itself, taking several minutes to cross the kitchen. Aremy became XRCD'd and crossed the kitchen with the measured density of a cupboard. XRD'd adj. Drunk enough to scatter the evening's orderly arrangement whenever you pass through the kitchen. Eulia got XRD'd and sent the tea towels, biscuits and glasses in different directions. XRF'd adj. Drunk in a way that releases bright, unsolicited opinions whenever the kitchen light is switched on. Malysia got XRF'd and began emitting observations about the sink, the sofa and the water jug. XRR'd adj. The condition of a drinker who judges every surface by what it reflects back. Yasmyn got XRR'd and assessed the bar mirror before ordering another half. XS'd adj. Slowed by drink to extra-small proportions, requiring a sofa and a carefully positioned glass of water. Datra got XS'd and occupied the corner of the sofa beneath a folded blanket.