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zoofacted adj. Of a drinker who has fashioned the evening's debris into a tool for opening something that is already open. Rhesa was zoofacted, using a beer mat and a teaspoon to construct an implement for the taxi door. zoofaried adj. Describing a drinker who conducts the journey home as a guided tour of every remaining public house. Audryana went zoofaried, taking Cleona past three pubs and naming the species of each doorway. zooflagellated adj. A drinker who advances by rapid, irregular movements whenever the round reaches the far end of the table. Koretta became zooflagellated and crossed the pub in short bursts whenever another round was proposed. zoofulled adj. A drinker so far gone that the pub appears to contain enough people for several separate establishments. Asiel was zoofulled and counted the same four customers as though they occupied different bars. zoofulvinned adj. The state of being drunk and yellowly illuminated by the uncompromising lights brought on for closing. Cayd was zoofulvinned when the house lights came up, and discovered his coat was not his. zoogameted adj. The condition of a drinker who has paired with the nearest available companion for the journey home. Jedaiah was zoogameted, leaving the pub arm in arm with someone whose name had not survived. zoogamied (/zəʊˈɒɡəmid/) adj. The drunkenness of one who has turned finding a partner for the last round into a reproductive principle. Eythel was zoogamied, pairing every unattended glass with a person before the landlord intervened. zoogened adj. Reduced by drink to a clear, shining film over the evening's more complicated decisions. Cherylle was zoogened by last orders, her plans reduced to coat, taxi, house. zoogenesised adj. Softened by drink into believing that each member of the party evolved independently and should therefore choose a different taxi. Mafalda became zoogenesised and sent everyone home separately, including herself. zoogenied adj. Sharpened by drink into identifying several entirely separate origins for the same missing coat. Judyth was zoogenied, offering three independent accounts of where her coat had come from. zoogeographered adj. Emboldened by drink to chart the distribution of animal species across the route to the taxi rank. Ianmichael was zoogeographered and explained where the foxes lived between the pub and the station. zoogeographied adj. Slowed by drink to the pace of an exhaustive survey of every possible route home. Wilmarie became zoogeographied and took twenty minutes to choose between two identical streets. zoogeologied adj. Drunk and examining old drinkers, fossilised queues and ancient receipts beneath the bar. Charlla was zoogeologied, excavating the coatroom for evidence of earlier departures. zoogleaed adj. Drunk enough to become a viscous colony around the bar, multiplying whenever anyone mentions another round. James-anthony was zoogleaed, joined by three companions who had been heading home separately. zooglered adj. Drunk to the point where loading the coats into a taxi resembles a contracted operation. Nessa was zooglered, arranging everyone's coats before attempting to load herself into the taxi. zoogloeaed (/ˌzəʊ.əʊ- -ɑːd/) adj. Drunk past the point of separating from the group, the coats, or the conversation at the taxi rank. Joell was zoogloeaed, still attached to the departing party despite having missed the first taxi.